


Tiny Little Oddities Found in the Human Mind

by Fabulously_gay_doritos



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: (Drowning is a nightmare/memory), Amélie has hyposomnia, Ana and reinhardt's romance is only minor, Chronic Illness, Dad Reaper | Gabriel Reyes, Dad Soldier: 76 | Jack Morrison, Dreams and Nightmares, Drowning, F/F, F/M, Fareeha has recovered from Cancer (cause she's amazing), Genji Shimada is a Little Shit, Genji has ADHD, Hanzo Shimada has Anxiety, Jamison is a pyromaniac and kleptomaniac, Jesse Has PTSD, Lena Oxton has Narcolepsy, Lúcio has social anxiety, M/M, Mei and Zarya also minor, Mental Illness, Mental Instability, Multi, Nightmares, Other ships are planned, Panic Attacks, Rating May Change, Shimada bros best bros, Sombra (Overwatch) is a Little Shit, Sombra has dysthymia, Support Group AU, Trans Character, Trans Hana "D.Va" Song, Trans Sombra (Overwatch), and is an alcoholic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-11
Updated: 2018-04-21
Packaged: 2019-03-30 04:30:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 36,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13942635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fabulously_gay_doritos/pseuds/Fabulously_gay_doritos
Summary: Each and every one of us face some kind of problem: it just so happened that they faced something a little bigger than themselves.They were all some sort of run down, born with tiny little oddities or scarred from past experiences, but it made them human. Didn't matter that it was a bit harder for them to function. Suppose you could say they had each other now.(Aka- the teen support group au no one asked for)(Will update mid June, currently working on other fics and personal matters)





	1. The Introductions

**Author's Note:**

> Please enjoy!

Every time he slept, he dreamt of the accident. Jesse couldn't tell you how many times he closed his eyes, hoping he wouldn't wake up screaming and covered in sweat- he'd lost count of the nightmares at around 34. 

This particular night was like any other: reclining back in the percautiously balanced chair that sat in front of the dining table, while he tipped cheep beer down his parched throat. The alcohol burned in such a way that it left Jesse aching for more and he closed his eyes as a strange sort of peace washed over him. The moment soon passed. Panic surged over him when foggy lights from outside crossed his blank eyelids, jolting him to attention and forcing him to drown it all with another gulp of alcohol. As he stood to move back to his hurricane of a room, memories resurfaced- their laughter rang through his chest, patronizingly taunting his every move.

"Jesse."

Jumping in surprise, Jesse turned warily to face the familiarly gruff voice. Gabe's harsh gaze followed him as Jesse slowly moved back to the table, anticipating one of those 'conversations.' "S'not whatcha think, Gabe-"

Gabe simply shook his head, calmly settling down in front of Jesse. With a sense of ease, he took the partially full beer without permission and sipped slowly. "Nightmares again?"

"S'pose so. Still feel a little rough 'round the edges from the accident."

"You know what that means, then." The glass of the now-empty alcohol bottle clinged softly against the worn wooden table as Gabe set it down.

Ignoring the clear warning, Jesse groaned and tried his best to slide an easy smile on his features. "Aw, come on viejo. Y'know I don't need none of that fancy bull." 

Out of the corner of Jesse's eyes, another hazy light zipped past the window. By the time he turned back to Gabe, Gabe's eyes had narrowed. "You promised, kid. Never took you for a liar."

A sharp hiss escaped between Jesse's teeth as his hackles rose. "Don't pitch a pissy fit now, viejo. You knew I would never-"

Gabe's growl shook Jesse's words back into silence. "You promised. You're going." He went quiet for a moment before adding, "Make sure to behave." as if it was an afterthought. He stool with his usual no-nonsense posture and placed the empty bottle in the rusting sink.

"Yessir." His words echoed in the empty room, and the only sign that Gabe had even heard his whisper was the deep chuckle that rumbled from the back bedroom. Standing with a groan, Jesse quietly crept back to his bedroom, having long already accepted that it would be another sleepless night. 

 

* * *

 

"Come on, come on... I almost got it, guys! Just one more- yes!" Hana shrieked in delight as the game initiated the final cut scene, practically wiggling in her gaming blanket cave. "We did it, streamies!" Beaming at the river of love-filled comments, Hana slipped in her usual outro music Lúcio had designed for her. "D.va out!"

While she was putting away the various streaming equipment and cleaning up the stranded blankets, a knock rang from her bedroom door. "Hana? I need to talk to you."

She obediently pried open the door to find herself face-to-fave with Jack, her adoptive father. "Ah, dad! What do you need?"

"Have you made the decision yet?" He smiled nervously as she led him inside her room, shoving empty chip bags and bottles of mountain dew off of a nearby chair to make room for him to sit.

"Yeah, I... I wanna try it. Who knows, it might help me come out to the school, and Lena's gonna go too, and I wanna help her find a psych who'll get her on meds." She rambled as she cleaned the rest of the setup, the motions keeping her brain running on the right track. "I mean yeah, I'm super nervous and I dunno how others will react but maybe I'll be able to find a friend group so when I start school this fall as a girl I'll have some support. So yeah. I wanna try it." Huffing, she finally finished cleaning, crashing down onto her bed with a flourish and dramatic sigh. Before Jack could comment, she turned her head and gave him her best beaming smile.

As much as he tried to, he couldn't resist a soft chuckle to escape from his lips. "Ah, I see. I'm glad you're excited."

"Do you know when the first meeting is?" Hana chimed, curiosity lifting her voice.

"No, but I'll give Tekhartha a call as soon as I can." 

 

* * *

 

Everyday was a struggle while living in the support home for Hanzo, but at least it was better than where they used to live. Genji was happy here, they had food, and school was easily accessible- all improvements from the empty ornate halls he wandered when he was younger.

These were the things he thought about while he waited in their room for Genji to return with dinner. It crushed his pride to have his younger brother grab their food without Hanzo helping with the heavy load, but the twists in his stomach refused to let him leave the room. There was no way Hanzo could walk in the dreary soup kitchen without going through a panic attack, he could already feel the suffocating noise and it made his head spin-

He took a deep breath to catch his thoughts, steadiing his heavy gasps until his heart settled. There was no way he would leave this room until the apocalypse began. Or to punch one of Genji's bullies in the fucking jaw. That's an emergency that his stomach will just have to get over.

But was getting dinner worth the crushing anxiety? Not at all.

A soft thump on the door interuppted his thoughts. Sliding his finger onto the lock's scanner, he watched with an amused smile as Genji wiggled in, hurriedly setting the food on the small corner table while his mouth was already rambling on about something mundane. 

"-nd you wouldn't believe the line! I'm honestly pretty proud of myself, cause I managed to grab rice, I mean you make it better but rice is rice and they didn't have any other things that you'd like but I managed to grab some instant ramen and I know you hate the flavor packets but I thought the noodles would be good to cook in here so we don't have to leave for lunch tomorrow, although I don't know what we would put in it to make it taste better, and I-"

"Jittei. Deep breaths." As adorable as his brother's rambles were, the blue tint that had begun to cross Genji's features had become a quick concern. Nonetheless, Genji obiedently took a few breaths., leg tapping softly as he did so, but was easily distracted again by the crappy ceiling fan. "Give me your arm." Genji impatiently shoved his arm into his brother's face, biting his lip. "You have notes written down."

"I do?" He peered down at his own arm, curiosity and recognition lighting up his features. "I do! Ok. Uh." Hanzo used all his strength to keep his rushed feelings from crossing his features, displaying only understanding and patience. "One. Got rice, vegetables, some instant ramen, oh, and eggs? I don't even remember grabbing that."

His words paused as Hanzo slowly rose from his spot on the floor, methodically putting the food items away. The storage space he had available was tiny and flimsy, but he made do. "Go ahead and continue, brother. I am listening."

Genji beamed from his new spot on the floor, legs crossed and fingers tapping against his knee. "Ok! What number was I on?"

"Two."

"Ok, ok. Two. Manager says we have to move out in two weeks, he needs room for a new family. He gave me a list of possible cheap apartments, and places that would hire you for work." Hanzo hid a grimace behind a cabbage; he had been expecting this, but the suddenness of it all quickly sent his brain into a scattered arrangement of panic and fear.

"Three. A counselor is coming over. Angela told me or something, she said she noticed a few things about us and asked me if we wanted to see one, and I said yes but I wasn't really listening and had to have her repeat it lots of times. Was hard to focus, her voice was really smooth." The words paused, but Hanzo hadn't noticed. His head was already spinning, and he had to grip onto the cabinet door to keep from swaying. _Someone was coming inside._ This was his safe place, and it was being invaded, _taken away._ The cabbage slipped out of his fingertips, but he couldn't tell, the world was crashing around him in dizzying blues and purples and greens and he was blind to it, the lack of sight was terrifying, fingers trembling and legs wobbling-

"Anija, listen. Listen to my voice." Soft mumbles of his mother language lulled his heart slowly, hands rubbing comforting circles on his shoulders. Hanzo made sure to open his eyes and notice everything around him carefully, analysis everything one at a time until he became familiar with his surroundings once more. Gray walls, brown floor, white ceiling. The tea kettle was softly whistling on the stove, almost ready but not quite. He was on the ground, the cabbage still in front of him, taunting him. Genji's various cartoon posters hung on the walls. Gray walls. Soft lights. Blue lamps.

It was over, as quick a change as it was when it began.

"Better?" His brother questioned from somewhere behind him. A soft smile crossed Hanzo's features.

"Better. Thank you."

A knock on the door immediately distracted Genji from the previous incident while the knock nearly toppled Hanzo back into the waves of panic, but before his mind could do anything Genji had already opened the door.

"Ah, hello! I believe Angela has spoken to you about me? I heard her worries and I believe I have a solution." It was an older man, with a shaved head and kind eyes. He reminded Hanzo of a monk, with a body completely relaxed and at.... Peace.

Scrambling to put his mind back in order, Hanzo stood to speak, but Genji took the silence for himself instead. "Come inside! Sit down, we have tea, Hanzo made the blend so I bet it's really good! He sucks at cooking pizza and stuff but his tea is always really nice!" the golden laugh the monk-like man let out comforted Hanzo a bit, to his ever-growing surprise.

"I would love to." 

 

* * *

 

Fingers tapping constantly to an unknown beat, Lúcio wheeled himself into his 5th floor apartment with barely contained enthusiasm. After a full day of _socializing_ with fans and pushing himself around from store to store, you'd think he'd be exhausted. He was- but the excitement of finally talking to Hana again buzzed him back to his usual cheery self. At least, enough to get him through the elevator. After taking a few minutes to lock the door, Lúcio hastily pushed down the brakes of his wheelchair. Not even bothering to move away from the door or get out of his wheelchair, Lúcio scrambled to pull out his phone from the chair's side pocket.

 

 **Lúcio-o-oh:** I've never been more tired in my entire life

 **Bunniepop:** that's what u said after the new years stream

 

Lúcio let a little laugh out into the empty room. She was right- although he said that particular phrase so often he was surprised she hadn't brought up any of the other times he had said it.

 

 **Lúcio-o-oh:** I was correct then, I'm correct now, leaf me alone

 

Letting out a sigh, Lúcio moved away from his phone to start getting ready for bed.

The apartment was a little too silent, though. He had gotten used to his roommate's barking laughter filling the small space, and the sweet chime of his roommate's girlfriend as she spoke and passed around tea. The kettle on the kitchen stove had tea in it, still warm and unserved. Had something happened? Mei wasn't really known to waste things.

Mind racing from outlandish conclusions, he managed to rake up the courage to check their bedroom before he settled into his room. To his relief, when he opened the door he was met with Zarya's grunt of discomfort, Mei's squeak of surprise, and a shoe in the face. He was holding back laughter when he left them.

 

 **Bunniepop:** lol u good mate

 **Lúcio-o-oh:** haha, just tired. Going outside is hard, how do you do it?

 **Bunniepop:** u see sweetie, i dont

 **Bunniepop:** i haven't left my room in so long

 **Bunniepop:** lol

 **Bunniepop:** anyway what's up with u? How'd the fan meetup go

 **Lúcio-o-oh:** well I love my fans but

 **Lúcio-o-oh:** socializing is hard so

 **Lúcio-o-oh:** *shrug*

 **Lúcio-o-oh:** kinda glad I didn't wear my skate prosthetics tho

 **Lúcio-o-oh:** would've hurt wearing them for that long, even though the wheelchair made the anxiety worse

 **Bunniepop:** anxiety was that bad?

 **Bunniepop:** do u need comfort

 **Lúcio-o-oh:** nah

 **Lúcio-o-oh:** besides if I needed comfort, my roomie's gf is an angel, she already had tea ready in the kettle when I got home

 

He came to that conclusion after walking in on their cuddle session, and had grabbed a cup and cleaned up the kitchen before heading to his room at last. It took a while to climb out of his wheelchair alone, but it just made laying down all the more satisfying. Curled up happily in the silky sheets and sipping warm tea, his fingers fumbled with his phone.

 

 **Bunniepop:** alright

 **Bunniepop:** well

 **Bunniepop:** take care of urself, ok? I need ur songs for my outros

 **Bunniepop:** and ur my friend

 **Lúcio-o-oh:** got it, mom. Anything else?

 **Bunniepop:** one- never call me mom ever again I will eradicate u

 **Bunniepop:** two- I have an idea but it requires u to go somewhere with me tomorrow

 **Lúcio-o-oh:** ew, going places

 **Lúcio-o-oh:** alright, I'm listening

 **Bunniepop:** call me, I'll tell u in person

 **Lúcio-o-oh:** ugh, gross, in person

 **Bunniepop:** shush u love me and my beautiful voice and beautiful face

 **Lúcio-o-oh:** shit u rite

 

He was quick to call her- Hana wasn't really known for her patience. Like he expected, she answered immedietly and went straight to the point.

"Alright, so there's this dude named Zenyatta."

 

* * *

 

The fireplace was glowing when Fareeha got home.

She wasn't surprised to find her father humming loudly in the kitchen, flipping... Something on an old cast iron pan. After a quick search of the house, she found her mother mixing a few herbal remedies in her workroom. Like usual, the house wasn't quiet- Torbs and his family was visiting, and she spotted Brigette working on Fareeha's hoverbike in the back. She decided to join her father in the kitchen.  
"Need any help?" She slipped in place beside him, hands already grabbing the extra spices Reinhardt always forgot.

A smile quickly covered the entirety of her father's face, eyes bright like a child's. "Ha! Even if I said no, you wouldn't leave, so I suppose I do! Mind being on drink duty?"

Nimble fingertips chopped through the rugged cuts on the various vegetables Reinhardt had gotten out. "I think you should be on drink duty. Your meaty fingers can't handle cutting like I can." Her father let out a boisterous laugh and obediently headed to the other side of the kitchen, starting up his humming again.

"Oooh~! What's for dinner, darlings?" Her mother peeked her head into the kitchen, a grin chasing her lips.

"Well, come help and you'll see!" Fareeha cried from her spot checking the pan, multitasking in a way only she and Ana could.

Ana nodded along, slipping into place in the kitchen with ease. "Impressive. Glad your finally home, Fareeha. I have some news."

Fareeha's interest rose, twisting to face her mother. "Oh?" Beside her, Reinhardt dumped cup after cup of sugar into a light blue liquid that they would supposedly be drinking tonight.

"Talked to Zenny today, he'd love to have you stop by."

"Do I really need it though? I have all the support I need." Fareeha spoke to the pan below her, a frown forming on her lips.

"That's not why I want you to go." Ana smiled softly, gently bumping hips with Fareeha as she passed by. "You need friends, Fareeha. This is a great way to find people who may understand what you're going through, and besides- maybe you'll be able to help them." Shrugging, Ana turned to face Fareeha fully. "You've handled your stuff, but they probably haven't, and you might be able to give them some advice. Even if they don't have cancer like you did you'll be able to understand the struggle of facing something chronic, unlike many others they've met."

Fareeha debated the idea in her head thoughtfully while her fingers instinctively added a few more spices to the pan. "Alright. I'll go to the first meeting. Besides, it might be fun."

"That's my girl!" Her father cried from the dining room, where he had begun setting up the table. "Now come on, Torbs is starting to lapse into his engineering state and if we let him go under we'll never eat."

 

* * *

 

"Sombra, please? I don't wanna go alone."

Jesse should've guessed it would've been difficult to convince Sombra to go with him to the support group. He was stupid to think she would leave her various hacking goals to go anywhere with him. There was a larger chance of her having a child than for her to willingly leave her computer without a bribe, and she didn't even have ovaries.

A bribe. Genius. "I could compensate you."

Sombra turned to face him, bright purple fingernails glinting in the low light. "I'm listening."

"I could get ya..." Jesse had to think for a moment to figure out what she would want and what he could afford. "I'll buy ya lunch?"

"Weak. But I'm up for it. Support group sounds like a great opportunity to hack into the government software." She gave him a coy smile. "Besides, wouldn't want you to be a lonely grumpy baby, it's bad for your health." The lights of her computer shut off silently as she sat up, crossing her arms. "Come on, pay up."  
"Huh?"

"Buy me lunch, bud. I'm hungry."

 

* * *

 

The old police office had barely handled the sharp changes of time, the gray building crumpling apart more and more each day. It was still in use, sometimes for small affairs of vandalism and loitering, but mostly geared towards dealing with teens. That's why Jamison was here, handcuffed and seated in what used to be an interrogation room but now used as a break room, complete with a mini fridge and a microwave standing on a small side table. An old officer slammed a file onto the table Jamison sat at, heaving himself into a whiny chair that squealed as he sat. Jamison spared a glance at the file- it was labeled 'Junkrat'. They didn't know his name, even though he had to give Mako's phone number because he was "a guardian". Stupid police, did they really believe Junkrat was his name and Mako was a guardian? Maybe they've heard worse. 

"You know why you're here, kid?"

He tried to play it dumb, he really did, gave off his best innocent, confused look. Usually worked on teachers, maybe it'll work here. "I set a fire in a junkyard and no one got hurt which is good?"

"You set a fire in someone's junkyard. One of the piles of trash exploded and nearly destroyed the house next door."

"Oops! That was an accident." The officer gave him a harsh glare before sighing softly, leaning back in his chair.

"Look, Jamie." Oh. They knew his name after all. "This is the third time this week you've been cuffed, and I can't keep letting you out for free, someone's gonna eventually get hurt or press charges."

Jamison groaned, tilting his head. "Ugh, come on mate! I'm not gonna hurt nobody stealing pencils and occasionally having a bonfire. I honestly don't know why you cunts keep locking me up all the time."

The door chimed as Mako stumbled into the jailhouse, heavy footsteps echoing through the walls. Jamison watched with barely contained excitement as the old bastard in front of him slowly rose from his chair. "Mako. I have something to discuss with you."

"How much damage?"

The officer led him away to a room that had a one-way window looking into the break room, concern etched onto his face. "Blew up some junk, stole my stapler, nothing too serious." He pulled out a flier from his pocket, handing it to the large young adult in front of him. "I have a place I suggest he go to, once a week. Might make some friends, do him some good. Hopefully Tekhartha will know what to do."

Mako nodded long, glancing worriedly through the massive window and at Jamison, who was tinkering with the stapler. Some friends would be good. He didn't really mind Jamison running around setting fires as long as people didn't get hurt, but a few friends... Might give him some restraint. This was good. "Thank you."

"Its really no problem. You're a close friend, and although it may not seem like it, I'm real fond of that kid. Doesn't deserve to go the way he's headed. Doesn't deserve to be a criminal."

 

* * *

 

Amélie had been called to the office again. The counselor was there this time, a strange occurance that she made sure to note down in her head. It took a lot of will to keep herself from falling asleep in the uncomfortable chair like shw did last time. 

"Hello, Amélie. I've heard much about you." The counselor smiled welcomely, offering a cup of coffee. Amélie took it happily, taking sips to keep herself awake. "I've been told you have trouble staying awake?" Amélie simply nodded, not trusting herself to speak clearly. "Have you been sleeping well?"

"Oui, monsieur." The counselor nodded thoughtfully, gesturing for her to continue. "At least eight hours each night. And many hours during day. I often feel tired and naps do not help, although I usually submit to the pulls." As Amélie suspected, her voice was slightly slurred.

"Ah, I see." The counselor pulled out a small flier, slipping it into Amélie's palm. "Take a look at this."

"Je ne comprende pas." Amélie's eyes were blurred and unfocused, eyelids drooping. She wanted to sleep so badly...

A confused frown crossed the counselor's features. "A support group. A close friend of mine is in charge of it and he may be able to find some things to treat it." He waited a moment for recognition to cross Amélie's features, and when it didn't,, he moved to press a button on his desk. Amélie's host mother slipped into the room.

She moved to kneel next to Amélie, taking one of her host daughter's hands. "Amélie? Ma petite fille, ça va? Tu es fatigue?" Her host mother gently tapped her cheeks until Amélie's eyes flickered back open.

"Ah, Je suis desolé. I am awake now. What were you saying, monsieur?"  
"Do not worry, I do not mind. Please take a look at the paper I handed you. It's of a support group a friend of mine is in charge of, and I believe you will take some benefit from visiting weekly."

"Ah." Amélie peered down at the bright flier, the interest waking her up a bit. "I'm interested."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm on Tumblr and Instagram by the same name check me out if u want idk  
> Translations-  
> Viejo- old man  
> Anija- older brother (although most of you already know this)  
> Oui, monsieur- yes, Mister  
> Je be comprende pas- I don't understand  
> Ma petite fille- my little daughter  
> ça va- literal translation is "it's ok" but here it's used as an informal "Are you ok?" Similar to "u good?"  
> Tu es fatigue- you are tired, but as an informal question  
> Je suis desolé- I'm sorry  
> I'm only in French 2 and I'm bad at comprehending but I'll start taking notes I promise  
> 


	2. Group Chats are the Only Answer to Proper Venting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the first meeting happens, Zenyatta creates a group chat for the gang, a few of the girls go out for coffee, and Hanzo is a mess (again)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter is long  
> Sorry I guess

The building the support group was meeting at was fairly small. The lot wasn't very big, rugged and covered with wild grass and bushes. The building itself was more like a home, with light blue walls and white frames. As Jack led his old pickup truck into the rugged, empty parking lot he was surprised to see Tekartha Zenyatta sitting crosslegged on the house's front porch.

"Alright girls." Jack grumbled, quickly shifting the truck to reverse. "Before you go- if you need anything, I'm just a phone call away. This includes getting you out of here, getting you ice cream or anything food related, and punching someone in the gut. No limits on the punching." 

Hana laughed, nodding happily as she slipped out of the passenger's seat. "Got it, Dad." She moved to the other side of the truck to gently slap Lena awake before heading towards the porch. The two girls waved enthusiastically at Jack's truck, watching it slowly pull out onto the busy freeway.

"Are you excited?" Lena questioned from beside Hana, a little sleepy but otherwise jumping from excitement. It was a little nerve wracking, walking through the empty parking lot as their father faced the onslaught of traffic, but at least they had each other.

Distracted by the sound of their footsteps, Zenyatta peered up from his meditating. "Ah, welcome. A few of the others have already arrived, you'll meet them in the conference room. Ana will show you where to go."

The entrance of the small home was warm and comforting, chairs lining the walls with a desk settled at the left of them and a single door on the right. An older-looking woman (presumably Ana) with a tattoo around her left eye stood behind the desk. She simply pointed to the door, a warm smile blooming on her features.

Lena and Hana shared a nervous glance before heading inside.

Most of the room's walls were covered in light blue paint, a small mural covering the tops of the walls and parts of the ceiling. Various kinds of couches were set in a semi-circle while in front of the couches was a thick folded cloth. There were already four teens waiting when the entered: a sleepy girl wearing an oversized purple sweater, two boys sitting next to each other with their legs bouncing in unison, and a face Hana found familiar.

"Lúcio! You came!" Hana shrieked in delight, rushing to sit next to him immediately while Lena ended up wandering near the sleepy girl. Lena introduced herself to the purple sweater girl, making sure to remember her name- Amélie.

While Lena made friends, Hana was trying to comfort Lúcio- He had been fidgeting with the wheels of his skates and unconsciously biting his lip when Hana found him. "It's been so long, it's good to see you again!" She sat beside him, beaming. "You doing alright?"

Lúcio visibly relaxed, a carefree smile twitching the corners of his lips. "Yeah, now that you're here. This is terrifying, why did I agree to this?"

"Because you love me!" Hana chimed, and the couch shifted slightly when Hana moved to scan the room curiously. Her eyes landed on the two boys in the corner. The taller one seemed to be older: long, silky black hair framed a square jaw, powerful blood radiating from his tense stance. The boy beside him was his polar opposite- fluffy, neon green locks covered his head, bright eyes jumping from person to thing to person. Polar opposites, and yet the way their limbs synced suggested a connection Hana believed she would never understand. 

"Anija." Hanzo jolted back to reality and his gaze immediately focused on his brother. "You alright there?" Genji gestured down to their knees.

A blush quickly dusted Hanzo's cheeks. "I am fine. Do not worry about me."

Genji worriedly scanned him for a moment but eventually turned to focus on the room again. "Alright, well. People just arrived and they're heading towards us."

"What?!" Hanzo's voice was a harsh whisper as his heart pounded, eyes quickly landing on the new arrivals. An interestingly dressed girl with a half-shaved head and sharply pointed fingernails stood beside a casually dressed, tan boy wearing a cowboy hat. His brother took immediate attention to the boy- his eyes lit up as if it was his birthday. As the boy advanced and girl headed towards someone else, Hanzo's hackles rose and stomach churned even more than before.

"Woah, nice hat cowboy! Can I try it on? Where'd you get it?" His brother squealed, managing to distract them for long enough that Hanzo could get his bearing straight. He had to say something, but his blood rushed too fast through his ears. It was too much.

"Hey there, tall dark and mysterious. Ya got a name, or can I just call you mystery man?"

For a moment Hanzo couldn't breathe at all, eyes open wide in some sort of panic. His brother's steady hand on his knee reminded him to gulp in a few breaths before he suffocated, and for a brief moment he thanked his father for teaching him how to blank his face, if only useful for moments like these. _You are nothing to them if your face says nothing. Give them nothing to judge and you will not be judged._

_Remember to breathe, Hanzo._

"Hanzo." It was all he could say without breaking the carefully crafted emotional mask. 

His brother came to his rescue before he had to say anything else. "And I'm Genji, his brother!" He beamed at the cowboy. "What about you?"

An easy smile slowly formed over Jesse's cheeks as he spoke. "Call me Jesse. My sister over there is Sombra."

Genji sunk into the conversation again and Hanzo has never been more relieved in his life.

When the next kid wandered into the room all conversation stopped. Jamison had arrived, in rugged clothes speckled with ash. "Heya, mates!" He paused for a moment. "Why so quiet? Did I interrupt something?"

"You are fine. Simply a break in conversation," Amélie responded from her spot on the couch. Another girl waltzed in with tea and cookies- Fareeha. She offered tea to Amélie and smiled when the French girl happily accepted.

"Well, go ahead and sit down ashy boy. Zenny's starting soon." Shuffling to the nearest person, Fareeha handed them a clipboard. "Pass this around, will you? Everyone please write your phone number and name on the sheet." The clipboard was slowly passed along as the standing teens trickled down to the various couches.

No one heard when Zenyatta practically floated in, only jerked to attention when he spoke. "Hello, everyone. I am Tekhartha Xenyatta, but feel free to call me whatever makes you feel comfortable. Before we begin, I'd like everyone to introduce themselves. Only names are needed."

The teens were quiet for a moment, unsure of what to do until Fareeha decided silence was stupid. "Uh, hello. I'm Fareeha, daughter of the old lady at the front- she made the cookies. I'm here to make a few friends and I guess, help others out? I had early lung cancer but the doctors were able to take care of it after a 3 year fight. I don't have the worst predicaments, but-"

"All suffering is suffering. Yeah, our dad said that a lot." Genji spoke up, a soft smile crossing dimpled cheeks. "I'm Genji, and this-" he gestured wildly to Hanzo, "is my older brother Hanzo. I have ADHD while brother dear..." Fingers tapping gently on the couch armrest, he struggled to explain. "He'll talk when he's ready, I guess." His leg started to bounce again, following the rhythm of his fingers. Glancing nervously at Hanzo (who was frozen, blankly staring at the ground) he gestured for someone else to continue.

Amélie waved sleepily to get the attention of the others. "I am Amélie, a foreign exchange student from France. My school counselor recommended I go here -I attend a private school- because I find it hard to stay awake."

"Hyposomnia?" Zenyatta questioned helpfully.

"Probably. I am glad I was recommended for your care, Tekhartha." Her gaze focused on Lena for a moment. "I have not been disappointed so far."

Lena giggled from beside her, a bit giddy. "Awe, luv! Does that mean you like me?"

"You have been kind."

The athletic girl gave Amélie a quick hug. "That's so sweet!" She turned around to face the others. "I'm Lena, Hana's sister. I was diagnosed with Narcolepsy when I was in 8th grade." Before anyone else could answer, she shot fingerguns at Hana.

Not one to refuse a challenge, Hana answered with adrenaline and a tad bit of confidence. "Well, I'm Hana, a popular gamer nicknamed D.va that steams myself playing multiple games. The adorable boy next to me is Lúcio, he makes music for my streams and has some problems with social anxiety."

"And Hana's trans." Lúcio interjected, giving the small girl beside him a supportive smile."

"Yeah, what he said. Transitioned this summer, still trying to get Estrogen... I guess I'm here to have people to go to when school rolls around."

Sombra beamed from her spot on the floor. "Oh, cool! I'm trans too. Sombra, by the way. Although I'm here for insomnia and to support my bro Jesse." She pointed a purple polished fingernail at Jesse, who gave a classy smile to the other teens.

Everyone turned expectantly to face Jamison- he chuckled nervously at all the attention. "Call me Jamie."

"s'nice to mean y'all." Jesse rumbled from the back before the room went quiet- no one really had anything to say.

"Thank you all for responding so honestly. I'm afraid I have nothing else planned for today, as I was waiting until I could find what you all needed to work through. This gives you a bit of time to either head out early or socialize. Feel free to stay as long as you wish- these doors are always open for you." The teens nodded politely to Zenyatta and a few headed out immediately after he finished speaking: Jamison, who had managed to keep himself from stealing anything throughout the whole meeting (although he did end up stealing a cookie and teacup), Hanzo, who's heart was already too weak to handle anymore socializing so he instead left to rest in the car, and the Reye's siblings, who had to return their father's car so he could leave for work.

Amélie left soon after. Hana and Lena left with Lúcio, their eyes set on a nearby bakery, and suddenly Fareeha and Genji were the only teens left. They talked together for quite a while, both getting worked up over the random subjects until Ana entered the room.

"Fareeha, it's time to go. You should be heading out too, boy- it's getting late. Take some cookies, though, I need to get rid of the leftovers." She loaded his arms with the leftover cookies and led them out of the room, towards the exit.

Genji waved goodbye with his free hand and finally slunk into their small car, glancing worriedly at his brother in the driver's seat.

"Anija? Are you alright?" Only silence answered him. Shyly, Genji held out one of the cookies for Hanzo to silently munch on, wincing on how Hanzo flinched at the sharp movement. "Did something happen?"

Hanzo sighed, taking the cookie with one hand and starting the car with the other. "The last time I was in a room with that many people was with father." His shoulders sagged and he slowly relaxed into the leather chair. "I had a few flashbacks. I'm sorry, that was... Difficult. Thank you for covering me during introductions, I almost puked." He bit into the cookie with a grimace, brightening considerably at the taste of the sweet. 

Unable to resist, Genji laughed, a bright an airy sound that could lift any spirit. "It was nothing, Anija." Genji scanned the unfamiliar road around them. "Where are we going?"

"I have a job interview. If it goes well, we'll be able to go searching for an apartment afterwards."

"Oh! Cool. You want me to stay in the car or go in with you?"

Hanzo sighed softly, smiling a bit. "As much as I want your support beside me, I have to do this alone. Thank you for offering, but I'd like you to stay in the car." He drove into a bank's parking lot, slowing to a stop before climbing out of the car.

"Got it. Good luck!" Genji smiled widely and waved a bit for extra emphasis. Excitement untampered by the lack of response, he pulled out his phone and checked his messages- a new group chat. Huh.

**TEKHARTHA ZENYATTA created new chat "Support Group".**

**TEKHARTHA ZENYATTA added AMÉLIE LACROIX, FAREEHA AMARI-WILLHELM, GENJI SHIMADA, HANA SONG MORRISON, HANZO SHIMADA, JAMISON FAWKES, JESSE MCCREE REYES, LENA OXTON MORRISON, LÚCIO COREIA DOS SANTOS, and SOMBRA REYES to the chat.**

**TEKHARTHA ZENYATTA's name has been changed to ZENYATTA.**

**ZENYATTA** : Welcome!

**ZENYATTA** : I have created this for two reasons.

**ZENYATTA** : One- To bring you all closer. I want you all to become familiar enough with each other, develop a trust you have with no one else. People you can feel safe with, since some of you haven't had that for a long time. Therefore, I ask you all to have no judgment and no harsh words.

**ZENYATTA** : Two- To create a safe place for you and the ones you are familiar with to talk, release some stress or vent about things, especially with people you trust and I, a trained professional. Mostly because the support group building isn't always available, and I wanted you all to have a place to go anytime you need it.

**ZENYATTA** : I will moderate group conversations and step in when needed, but this is otherwise for any use you require. You can joke, chat, or talk about serious things. Anything is welcome.

 

Although he was greatly appreciated and the words set a comforting warmth in his stomach, Genji didn't like the serious mood to settle for too long.

 

**GENJI SHIMADA** : Do jokes include memes

**ZENYATTA** : Of course. Feel free to change your username as well, as long as it is easily recognizable.

**GENJI SHIMADA** : ok cool

**GENJI SHIMADA's name has been changed to GENJI.**

**LENA OXTON MORRISON's name has been changed to LENA.**

**LENA** : Hiya, Genji!

**LENA** : This is a really cool idea Zen! Excited to talk with you all!

**SOMBRA REYES's name has been changed to SOMBRA.**

**SOMBRA** : are all the exclamation points really necessary

**LENA** : Yes.

**LENA** : They are Required.

**AMÉLIE LACROIX** : That is oddly ominous.

**HANA SONG MORRISON** : shit u rite

**HANA SONG MORRISON's name has been changed to HANA.**

**AMÉLIE LACROIX's name has been changed to AMÉLIE.**

**GENJI** : wait

**GENJI** : Are we allowed to curse?

**ZENYATTA** : Of course. As long as everyone is alright with it.

**GENJI** : coolio

**GENJI** : @everyone y'all good

**AMÉLIE** : Oui.

**JAMISON FAWKES's name has been changed to JAMIE.**

**JAMIE** : yeah sure

**HANA** : why even ask

**HANA** : we're teens

**GENJI** : consent is important

**HANA** : asdfghjkl

**HANA** : Lucio and Lena said they're cool with it

**SOMBRA** : Jesse and I are alright with it

**JESSE MCCREE REYES's name has been changed to JESSE.**

**JESSE** : 'm gay

**LENA** : akjdidodos

**HANA** : relatable

**LÚCIO COREIA DOS SANTOS** : geez 

**LÚCIO COREIA DOS SANTOS's name has been changed to LÚCIO.**

**FAREEHA AMARI-WILLHELM's name has been changed to FAREEHA.**

**FAREEHA** : I'm cool with it

**GENJI** : neato

**GENJI** : and Hanzo's ok with it too so yeet

**HANA** : Hanzo's the only one who hasn't said anything here

**HANA** : u good mate?

**GENJI** : he's fine, just quiet

**LENA** : that's quite obvious

**LENA** : he spoke like one word today

**GENJI** : he's also busy

**JESSE** : how so?

**GENJI** : doing stuff

**GENJI** : while I'm stuck in the car

**HANA** : we'll keep u company!

**GENJI** : <3

**HANA** : <3

**HANA** : just sayin im hella gay tho

**GENJI** : wkdksjdjjsks

**HANA** : this is platonic

**SOMBRA** : a minute in and we're already platonically in love w/ each other.

**ZENYATTA** : Then I suppose this is going better than I first expected.

**JESSE** : hell yeah

**JESSE** : where'd ur brother go, gengay?

 

Genji hasn't laughed so hard in his damn life.

 

**SOMBRA** : gengay

**JESSE** : that was a typo

**FAREEHA** : how

**GENJI's name has been changed to GENGAY.**

**AMÉLIE** : quoi

**GENGAY** : thanks cowboy

**GENGAY** : I needed this

**HANA** : I'm actually wheezing oh my god

**JESSE** : no problem, ninja.

**GENGAY** : yoooo narly nickname my dude

**HANA** : those words are such a cursed combination

**GENGAY** : lmao sorry

**GENGAY** : anyway to answer ur lovely question cowboy

**GENGAY** : hanzo's getting a job

**JESSE** : woah what

**JESSE** : but school's coming up soon

**GENGAY** : not in school, he graduated

**SOMBRA** : what kinda trade is he going into then?

**SOMBRA** : sorry for intruding

**SOMBRA** : the Reyes family has always been curious

**JESSE** : did you mean: prying, intrusive pricks

**GENGAY** : lol

**GENGAY** : its fine

**GENGAY** : not my place to tell tho

**ZENYATTA** : Well. Hanzo, if you are reading these messages before your interview, know that I wish you the best of luck.

**LÚCIO** : ^

**SOMBRA** : ^

**JESSE** : ^

**HANA** : ^

**LENA** : ^

**GENJI** : thanks guys. really means a lot

**LENA** : I hope he does well! Hanzo seems sweet, even though he doesn't talk much.

**LÚCIO** : yeah

**LÚCIO** : looks like he's got his shit together.

**GENGAY** : haha

**GENGAY** : yeah

 

Genji knew for a fact that Hanzo does NOT have his shit together.

 

**FAREEHA** : If he has his shit together why is he in this group?

**JAMIE** : I'd have to ask the same to u

**FAREEHA** : touché.

**AMÉLIE** : We all have our problems.

**AMÉLIE** : I'm sure Hanzo has his own.

**HANZO SHIMADA** : She is right. Thank you for the support.

**GENGAY has changed HANZO SHIMADA's name to HANZO.**

**HANA** : Oh! Hanzo!

**HANA** : how'd it go?

**HANZO** : Fine, thank you.

* * *

 

**-Private Message between GENGAY and HANZO-**

**HANZO** : Why did you tell them.

**HANZO** : This is nerve wracking.

 

To be honest, Genji had expected Hanzo to panic when he found out Genji had said something about their life- didn't really think Hanzo would dare to turn on his phone before the meeting.

 

**GENGAY** : hey

**GENGAY** : calm down

**GENGAY** : I mean

**GENGAY** : think about it

**GENGAY** : this is better than being face to face

**GENGAY** : you don't have to worry about body queues or facial expressions

**GENGAY** : and you have complete control over what you say

 

Hanzo considered Genji's claim, a small smile peaking onto his face. His brother was right- a rare but appreciated occurrence.

 

**HANZO** : You're right.

**HANZO** : I am being foolish.

**HANZO** : I will try to talk a bit more. For you.

 

Sometimes Genji found himself wondering if Hanzo meant to type so formally so damn often. It must've been useful at some points, but to Genji it was a little amusing and a little annoying.

 

**GENGAY** : good

**HANZO** : I am heading back now- the interview was successful.

**GENGAY** : oh!!!

**GENGAY** : awesome!

**GENGAY** : I'm so proud of u!

**GENGAY** : now get in the car and talk to me!!!!

 

Hanzo found himself giggling as he headed back to the car, cheeks heating from the strange glances he got from passerby's. So many exclamation points.

 

**HANZO** : Of course.

**HANZO** : when I arrive, please explain your username.

**GENGAY** : haha

**GENGAY** : wild story

**-End of Private Message Between GENGAY and HANZO-**

* * *

 

**-Support Group-**

**LENA** : where are you going to work now?

**HANZO** : A local bank. Nothing special.

**GENGAY** : still fucking cool if you ask me

**GENGAY** : my precious bro

**GENGAY** : a working boy

**HANZO** : Genji.

**JESSE** : Is this what having a little brother is like? Cause now I kinda want one

**HANZO** : I'm afraid you do not want a little brother.

 

Abort. Hanzo could feel the nausea creeping slowly through his bones when he climbed into the car, worrying his lip like a savage beast. Will Genji be hurt, or mad? He should've deleted the message. It was rude. What if Genji didn't love him anymore? Would he lose his brother too? Not now, not after everything-

His brother laughed, phone shoved close to his face, fingers typing rapidly. He was laughing. It was funny.

Safe. Hanzo carefully settled into the leather seat, starting the ignition.

 

**GENGAY** : Oh you adore me

**GENGAY** : you cook me fluffy eggs and make sure I eat my veggies

**GENGAY** : like a fucking mOM

**GENGAY** : that we don't have

**GENGAY** : kinda

GENGAY: nvm jokes not as funny anymore

**-3 messages deleted. Please reload or update your browser for current information.-**

**HANA** : what

**HANA** : uh

**HANA** : whatever

**GENGAY** : anything else going on?

**HANA** : I have a question

**LENA** : worrying.

**HANA** : shut up.

**HANA** : how can I tell if my dad's a furry

**GENGAY** : asjdkfkfkd

**GENGAY** : WHAT

**LÚCIO** : [-several people are typing-](http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/list/001/249/060/9c3.gif)

**GENGAY** : Hana please

**GENGAY** : [-delete this-](https://archive-media-1.nyafuu.org/vp/image/1468/00/1468009391628.jpg)

**HANA** : never

**JESSE** : hana uh

**JESSE** : excuse my French but

**JESSE** : What The Fuck.

**AMÉLIE** : That is not French.

**AMÉLIE** : In French it would either be "Qu'est-ce qui ce pas" or "C'est quoi ce bordel", depending on how vulgar you wish to be.

**SOMBRA** : I

**JESSE** : thanks Amélie

**JESSE** : with this group, I'll be using it soon enough. 

**AMÉLIE** : No problem.

**LENA** : dad is not a furry.

**LENA** : I think.

**LENA** : FUCK

**LENA** : what if he is

**FAREEHA** : Morrison?

**FAREEHA** : I don't think so.

**LENA** : you know my dad??

**FAREEHA** : not personally, but he was in the army with my parents.

**FAREEHA** : strange that they've never had reunions, my parents speak highly of Morrison.

**LENA** : we gotta plan shit

**HANA** : hey

**HANA** : that's not important

**HANA** : u know what is?

**HANA** : my question

**FAREEHA** : asked my mom, she said yes

**JESSE** : Jesus Christ

**JAMIE** : oh

**JAMIE** : I know that dude

**JAMIE** : he hung out wit prostitutes

**GENGAY** : the real MVP

**GENGAY** : and I'm not even religious.

**HANA** : psh

**HANA** : on the topic of religion

**HANA** : can religious people be furries

**AMÉLIE** : Quoi?

**LENA** : its time to stop

**SOMBRA** : I can answer this

**SOMBRA** : _yes_

**HANA** : thank u

**SOMBRA** : no prob

**SOMBRA** : now

**SOMBRA** \- I have a question

**JESSE** : [-heavy breathing-](https://pics.me.me/heavy-be-heavy-breat-heavy-breathing-avy-breathing-heavy-brea-22783999.png)

**JESSE** : Not a good sign

**SOMBRA** : shut up nerd

**SOMBRA** : Anyone wanna go out for coffee with me?

**AMÉLIE** : I would love to, if you do not mind.

**SOMBRA** : please come, awesome French lady

**HANA** : can I go too?

**HANA** : Lena's at practice and Lúcio is busy working on a new song

**HANA** : so I'm bored

**SOMBRA** : of course <3

**SOMBRA** : need me to pick either of you up?

**AMÉLIE** : yes please.

**HANA** : I can't drive

**SOMBRA** : got it.

**SOMBRA** : pm me your addresses

 

Fifteen minutes later, a sleek Honda cruised into Hana's backyard. She waved nervously before climbing into the backseat, words lost into the excitement. Sombra had already picked up Amélie and had been talking to the French girl in the passengers seat when Hana had entered.

"Yo! Ready for some treats? Don't worry about paying- my treat."

Hana brightened considerably. "Oh, thanks! I've been saving up for the new game coming out called Derigina 3 and..." She trailed off, a blush dotting her cheekbones. "You probably don't care much."

"I do not care for games that much, but Sombra is an avid gamer from what I've heard and I wouldn't mind listening or watching you both play if you wish to." Amélie smiled as she spoke, turning her head towards Hana. "As long as you tap me every once in a while. I do not want to fall asleep while you are explaining."

Sombra parked next to a quaint little café, pressing a button beside her to unlock and open the doors for her companions. "Well, let's talk over cups of liquid gold. I need a bit of a caffeine rush before I do anything." She led them out, stuffing the car keys in a thin pant pocket.

They found a nice table outside in the cool autumn air. Sombra ordered something complicated, while Hana went for pure sugar and Amélie went for some French drink only she and the barista knew of. The three girls chatted lightly while they waited, and even more with their drinks. Hana and Sombra discussed trans things they had to face over their transitions, Amélie and Hana had a grand time spilling tea™ they had found of the others in their support group (mostly innocent things to fill the time, but they gave knowing looks to each other any time they could: they both had information worth talking about, but not here.) Sombra and Amélie bonded over their shared love of their first languages, comparing words and even bringing Latin up a few times. Even when two of them got invested in conversation the third never felt left out- some sort of courtesy made sure everyone was included.

It was amazing.

Hana never once regretted joining the support group, and that afternoon spent with Sombra and Amélie solidified her conclusions. Whatever doubts she had of the group were erased the minute she sat down on the worn couches of Zenyatta's building.

 

* * *

 

 

It was late at night when Jesse heard his phone rumble insistently on his stomach, waking him up with a groan. He was having a nightmare again anyway- really didn't mind the early wakeup call. Jesse considered heading to the kitchen to grab a bottle of beer before reading the messages, but he decided against it when he saw who the messaged were from.

 

-Private Message between HANZO and JESSE.-

**HANZO** : Hey, Jesse.

**HANZO** : I know it's late, but I have a request.

**HANZO** : Jesse?

**HANZO** : Ah. You are probably asleep.

**HANZO** : Never mind. Sorry for interrupting your night.

 

Uh oh. Jesse fumbled with the keys for a moment before sending a quick response, sitting at the edge of his bed.

 

**JESSE** : hey

**JESSE** : wait

**JESSE** : I'm listening

**HANZO** : Oh! Alright.

**HANZO** : Would it be possible if Genji stayed at your home for a while?

**JESSE** : I

**JESSE** : what

**JESSE** : I beg ur pardon

**HANZO** : We...

**HANZO** : We have not been completely honest.

**HANZO** : We were kicked out of our family a few months prior to now, and recently the support home we've been staying at had to kick us out. I haven't gotten any money from my job, and there's no where for Genji to go. Please.

 

Holy shit. What the fuck? This isn't what Jesse was expecting. He scrambled to his feet, rushing to his father's room as if his life depended on it. The lights in the kitchen flickered on as Jesse took a minute to answer Hanzo- Gabe was already awake. Good.

 

**JESSE** : ah, shit

**JESSE** : uh

**JESSE** : give me a sec to ask Gabe

**HANZO** : alright.

**HANZO** : Please do not speak to anyone of our... Predicaments.

 

Jesse wasn't planning on telling anyone besides Gabe about it. The only reason why he told Gabe was because it was simpler to simply show his father the texts: The Reyes were never really good at explaining. After giving the tiny messages a quick read, Gabe softened and nodded at Jesse-Gabe's way of telling Jesse that Genji could stay as long as necessary. His father thought for a few moments before making the universal motion of "call him" and pointed back at Jesse's room.

"Why?" Contrary to popular belief, Jesse' voice wasn't accusing.

"Sounds like he needs some comfort."

Jesse simply nodded, not stupid enough to counter Gabe on such a late night, and headed back to his room. The time it took to start the call lasted decades.  
"H-Hello?" Hanzo was crying when he answered, massive and ugly sobs that rang through Jesse's ears. Shame filtered through the phone and roasted Jesse's own cheeks.

He tried to keep his voice as soft as he could. "It's Jesse. It's alright, Hanzo. Focus on breathing."

Hanzo gave a tiny whimper in reply, breaths coming out rapid and irregular- a panic attack? Jesse wasn't surprised.

"Everything's going to be fine. My old man's completely fine with another body wandering around in the house, you have nothing to worry about. Focus on breathing. Slowly, in and out..." He continued to talk Hanzo down from the rise of panic, hushed voices blurred by telephone lines.

It took a while before Hanzo could properly respond. "I-I'm sorry. I-" he laughed nervously. "I know this is a lot to ask of you. But I can't- I can't abandon him again, I can't leave him on the streets. You were the only person I could think of to ask before I shut down." Jesse heard him heave in a deep gasp. "I know I haven't known you for very long, we barely know each other and Genji says I trust far too easily for someone with anxiety-" his voice cut off and faint Japanese rang from a dislocated voice, most likely Genji's. "Thank you. I'll repay you, somehow."

"Naw, you don't have to worry yourself none." Jesse drawled, voice smooth. "I don't need nothing for this. It's what friends do. Besides, Genji's great company. I just gotta ask though-" he hesitated, focusing on Hanzo's unsteadily sharp intakes. "-What about you?" 

"What- That's none of your concern." Hanzo's voice betrayed his conviction when it wobbled from pitch to pitch.

"Oh, come on. You need a place to stay! I'm sure we can find room for one more body, it won't hurt us none-" 

"Thank you. I will drop him off tomorrow evening, text me if anything comes up. I must go."

Hanzo hung up.

His brother curled up on the park bench beside him, his head in Hanzo's lap. Snores escaped his partially open lips. Hanzo would do anything to keep him safe- including this. He could owe a favor. His pride kept him from allowing him to become a second favor though, determining it as an unneeded sacrifice. His own safety was not more important than keeping his brother away from deadly favors, a heavy weight on the soul that could kill in seconds. 

From now on, his brother will be safe. Hanzo will not fail him again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof sorry but I live for angst  
> Translations-  
> Quoi- what  
> Qu'est-ce qui ce pas- What's going on  
> C'est quoi ce bordel- what's going on but CRUDER (The french language doesnt have defining curse words. You have to get clever with your insults.)  
> It's literally 2 am, sorry if I made any errors but I spent 2 hours editing so it should be enough  
> Thank you so much for reading y'all are awesome


	3. Late At Night, Early Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At the count of three, jump.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Songs I listened to for this chapter: Eulogy by Charlie Allen, Ship in a Bottle by Steffan Argus  
> \Important!/  
> Warning for graphic descriptions of a wound- Starts at "His arm was numb" and ends at "Jesse jolted awake."  
> -Thank you for reading!

_"Come on, Jesse! It wont be that hard. You scared?"_

_It was dark- the moon was only a tiny sliver in the smoke-covered sky, and the trees surrounding Them stole the little light that the moon struggled to offer. His foot shifted, and pebbles scattered down the grassy cliff, landing with a soft 'clunk' onto a platform built below. The cliffs that surrounded the Deadlock hideout were the dusty remains of an old mine, and the young teens had made use of the empty, abandoned caverns. Behind him They stood, laughing and taunting him, playful shoves brushing his shoulders. In front of him was the cliff. There was no way out, and They knew it. His breath was ragged, heart beating way too fast underneath weak ribcages. If he died no one would miss him. Keeping that in mind, he turned to face Them._

_" 'course not. Just tryna scan the surroundings, ya know?"_

_The leader, who casually spun a rusted knife on his middle finger, just cackled. "Oh? I dunno man. I don't think you got any balls left. Did the system cut them off after your poor mommy left you?" The lackeys surrounding him laughed, chanting "No balls" as if I was the epitome of humor. It reminded him of the middle school crew he used to follow along- kids who thought dabbing was cool. Why did he want to join Deadlock again?_

_"Maybe we should kick him out! We can't house pussies, can we? Shove him back into the system. If he's lucky, he'll get housed in a group home with a bunch of crazies. Maybe even make some pussy friends." The leader's assistant howled, tablet in hand. As if he was going to give up hold of Jesse with the tap of his chubby fucking fingers._

_"I'm no pussy!" Jesse shouted without thinking while the cliff crumbled a bit under his heel. He shuffled forward a tiny inch. "I'll jump and then come back and beat your ass and mister showoff won't do anything about it." He made a crude gesture to the leader, and it seemed to be the right move- he just laughed and someone gave him another shove on the shoulder._

_The leader gave him a crooked smile. "Hey, there's our Jesse!" With the flick of a finger, the knife sailed down into the chasm below. "Good luck! Not that you'll need it, that platform is hard to miss."_

_"But it's-" the leader shushed the lackey standing beside him. No more stalling. It was time._

_"At the count of three, jump." There was no sign of hesitance in the leader's voice. Jesse took a deep breath. "Three!" Giggles and snorts surrounded his back as he turned to look back at the haunting depths. "Two!" He got his stance ready. "One!" Deep breath. In that last second, he realized he was shaking. "GO!"_

_He jumped._

_Free fall is always some sort of limbo. It lasts for hours, decades, centuries of floating in dark foggy skies. Jesse searched wildly for some sign of an end, but it just kept going, endlessly. Terrified and weak-hearted, he twisted in the air to face the ground. It was a mistake- he couldn't see the platform. Where did it go? He was falling way too far, too long, where was the ground-_

_A sickening thud echoed through the cliff's small canyon. He could hear Them cackling somewhere above him: like devious angels teasing his demise. His arm was numb and most likely broken- a quick glance to it skyrocketed his heart rate. It was gone. His arm was gone, blood replaced it and there was so much blood and he was covered in it, his arm was gone, ripped clean apart by the machinery that surrounded him, and They were watching and They saw and They were **laughing** at him. He screamed into the night, calling for any sort of help, he didn't want to die alone, but They continued to laugh, leaving him to rot like a rat, no one would find him-_

Jesse jolted awake while his heart thundered against his chest. Sweat dripped down his forehead and he rushed to wipe it off, hastily checking around the room. His prosthetic arm sat innocently on the bedside table- the arm looked so real, Jesse thought he was carrying around a sack of lies. He squinted in the low light: A glance at the clock told him it was around 2 in the morning, and a glance at the door reminded him where he was, exactly.

He didn't have enough time to wipe off the tear streaks before the door opened. Expecting Gabe to come in and complain about noise again, he was shocked to see Sombra peeking her head in, expression curious. He waited silently for her to ask.

To his unlimited surprise, she didn't. Her mouth twisted into a smile as she opened the door wider. "Jesse! Wanna play some Mario Kart? Gabe got a late call and Hana's coming over with Lúcio. I promise I won't hack or anything!" She swayed back and forth on her heals as she spoke, fingernails clicking on the doorknob.  
He grinned. "Yeah, sure, but I don' wanna put my arm on. Mind if we play teams and I throw items like usual?""

"Oh, hell yeah! They're gonna get crushed!"

 

Jesse could tell the exact moment the two exhausted teens in front of him noticed his missing limb. It was a reaction he always searched for unconsciously ever since he lost it, his body tensing for the eventual shriek of surprise or gasp of horror. Jesse had swiftly pulled open the wooden door and gestured them in with remaining piece of flesh hanging off his shoulder. "Howdy. How did Sombra convince y'all to come over? It's like, what, three?"

It had been easy to hide the flinch of his body when Hana made a confused noise. Lucio only stared for a moment, before skating inside with Hana in tow.

"Sleep is for the weak! Let's start on rainbow road, I want to crush you all as quickly as possible." Hana huffed out, curiously investigating the entrance and the nearby kitchen. A bubbly laugh left her lips and her face considerably brightened when she spotted the living room. "Woah! Nice set up!" 

Jesse found himself following her line of sight- when had Sombra set up her shit in the living room? "What the fuck?"

"Oh, calm down cowboy. Where else were we supposed to play, my room? You know it's a mess!" She cackled from where she stood by the TV, waving a purple glow-in-the-dark controller in the air beside her. "Got an oldie set up, since we're playing teams. Hana, can you help me grab the other controllers?" As Hana obediently skipped over to Sombra, Jesse assisted Lucio in taking off the electronic rollerblades.

After a moment's thought, Jesse popped up the recliner and chuckled when Lucio sighed in relief, curling into the plush cushions. "Thanks, man. Those things can get really uncomfortable."

Jesse smiled back, the skin around his eyes crinkling in a way it usually didn't. He had to thank Sombra later- it was nice having the DJ around. "No problem. I understand the feeling." He waved his stump a little, and a shared look of understanding crossed between them before interrupted by Hana's gruff snarl.  
"No, we are NOT playing Baby Park again! I hate that place, requires no strategy at all! Just dumb luck."

"That's the point, bunbun. Now take the mcfucking controller." Sombra cackled as she spoke, settling herself down on the carpet with crisscrossed legs.  
Jesse sat down beside her, moving a controller to sit face up in the carpet infront of him. For a moment he focused on pressing the buttons and moving the controller to a comfortable position so he can press every button relatively quickly with only one hand. After settling that problem, he turned his head towards Hana, who was sputtering from the casual nickname. "Sorry Hana. Sombra's a little rude."

Both girls huffed and glared at him. Jesse gave up and pressed start.

"Get ready Sombra, I will BEAT you ass! With my expert driving and Lucio's fast reaction time, we will never lose!" Hana screeched as she dodged a red shell, paling as five more spun towards her. "What the fuck?"

"Sombra." Jesse stopped throwing items, having realized something was definitely wrong when one red shell multiplied into five. "Didja hack the game?"

Silence. "No."

Jesse snorted and tackled her, dodging kicks expertly and carelessly tickling her. "You little cheater!" She shrieked underneath him, giggling and writhing. The two teens on the couch watched for a moment before Hana joined in, leaving her controller forgotten on Lucio's lap. Lucio could only watch, but for once he really didn't mind- He hated being tickled anyway.

"This is war!" Hana cried, but let out a hoarse shriek when Sombra managed to push them both off and scrambled to hide behind the couch.

"No fair! Two against one!" Sombra didn't look phased in the slightest as she spoke.

The commotion woke up Genji, who wandered in with sleepy eyes. Excitement quickly fueled his energy once he saw what caused him to wake up, and he rushed to Sombra's aid. "Do not worry, Sombra! Your savior is here!" He smirked at other two, bending down into a fighting stance. "You have no chance fighting against, me, the great Genji!" 

"I will never submit! Battle to the death!" As hard as she tried, Hana couldn't be very intimidating when hiding behind Jesse.

The jingling of keys at the front door took their attention before anything else could be said. "Oh shit, Gabe's home!" Jesse warned. The five teens paled and the two siblings tried their best to hide their companions.

"Jesse, what have I told you about leaving the kitchen light on? It attracts moth- oh." Gabriel paused in the doorway, eyes locked on the teens with an unreadable expression crossing his features. Hana had tried to climb behind the TV but she had only managed to get her arm and head hidden, while Jesse stood in front of her to hide the rest of her. Sombra and Genji had tried to hide Lucio in the kitchen, which would've worked... If his skates weren't still in the living room . "Uh..." Lost and a bit troubled, Gabe wracked his brain for some way to take care of this. "Um... I got extra cash from boss today. Anyone want ice cream?"

 

Eating ice cream with the Reyes family wasn't nearly as weird as it should've been. It was just insane- especially since it was too late at night for anyone to care about self-image.

"Can I post a few pics of this to my Snapchat? My fans will love this! " Hana asked from her spot in the back seat, phone already snapping a few.

Gabriel gave a quick expression check to the other kids, before sighing and shrugging. "Whatever, I don't care. Just make sure everyone else is alright with it."

"Make me famous, Hana!" Genji was practically vibrating in his seat. Beside him sat Jesse, who gently settled a hand on his knee to help calm him down. With the camera pointed towards them, Genji made a peace sign and Jesse tipped his hat. 

"No pictures of me, please." Sombra said dismissively from the passenger's seat, fingers already setting up codes. "Don't want the feds to recognize the girl that's been hacking into their systems for years." She ended the ominous words with a wink, and the other teens brushed it off. The old truck grumbled as it parked in front of the McDonalds-the only place open in town that would sell ice cream at 3 am. When they entered the bright, piss-smelling place, the teens headed straight towards a mostly-clean table while Gabe went to the counter to order.

Like expected, the table was a bit sticky, but no one really minded.

"Lúcio, pose!" Said teen jerked to attention, a bright smile painted onto his face while his hands cupped to form a heart. Hana snapped a photo and posted it with ease- the caption "3 am Lúcio loves u!" hovered at the bottom. "Nice job! Looks great." She slid into the plastic booth, making sure her arms didn't touch the table.

"Thanks, Hana." Lúcio turned to face Genji. "Yo, how's Hanzo doing? I'm surprised he's not here with you."

Sputtering, Genji struggled to find something to say that wouldn't expose Hanzo's current... Predicament. "Uh, he's fine! Just a little... Moodly lately."

Conversation paused for a moment when Gabriel came back with all the ice cream's held percautiously in his hands. Hana took her ice cream as quickly as possible, devouring it in seconds. "Maybe we can cheer him up! Bring him a shake or something, if he has a sweet tooth?"

Genji grinned broadly over his own ice cream. "Oh, he has a massive sweet tooth, although he hates to admit it." Catching onto Hana's suggestions, he hurriedly pulled out his phone and rang Hanzo up.

A flurry of Japanese filled his ears the minute Hanzo answered.

_"Is something wrong, Genji? Did you get hurt? Were you kicked out? Did you kill someone? Do I have to help you bury a body?"_

The teens around him looked a bit concerned as Hanzo continued rambling in their first language, and Genji gave them the biggest smile he could muster.  
_"Everything is fine, Anija. We went out for sweets with Hana and Lúcio. Where are you?"_

A bit of muffled shuffling later, Hanzo huffed out an answer. _"Work, like usual. Why?"_

Genji handed his abandoned ice cream to Jesse before he could drop it, body thrumming with excitement. _"Can you give us the address?"_

 _"Genji. What are you planning?"_ Hanzo's voice was suspicious, as it should be.

_"I have a surprise for you!"_

His brother sighed softly. _"...Fine. I'll text you the address. Please don't make a mess."_

Giggling happily, Genji murmured "Daisuki, Anija!" Before quickly hanging up and slamming the phone on the table. "Guys."

Hana had started to eat Genji's ice cream, and when Genji noticed she made no move to apologize. "Good news?"

"Yep!" Jumping to his feet, Genji pulled out his wallet. "Mr. Reyes, can you get the car ready?"

 

Hana was pretty sure Hanzo cried when Genji handed him an apple pie and a McDonalds shake.

When they found him, he was waiting in the Bank's parking lot, leaning against the wall with a blank slate as a face. Genji nearly tumbled out of the car, waving and laughing as he ran to his brother. The other teens climbed out of the car while Gabe stayed inside, fingers tapping idly on the side. The shadows pretty much hid any details of Hanzo's face but Hana was pretty sure tears bubbled in his eyelids after Genji showed him the goods.

"You called me in the middle of work for this?" Even as he spoke, Hanzo sipped carefully at the sugary drink.

Hana beamed. "Yep! Is it good?"

He chuckled, a tiny smile forming around the straw. "Yes. thank you."

 

  
**HANA:** ohmygod.png

 **HANA:** i think he cried

 **LENA:** oh my god!! What happened!!!

 **GENJI:** I bought him a mcdonalds shake and one of the apple pies they sell

 **GENJI:** and Jesse's dad drove me to his work

 **GENJI:** and I delivered

 **LÚCIO:** I have never seen a man happier before in my life

 **JESSE:** it was pretty adorable

 **GENJI:** lol

 **GENJI:** I wanna do this again

 

"Hey Mr. Reyes, would you mind if we did this again some other time?"

Gabriel peered over at the hopeful Genji sitting behind him. "Uh, sure. Maybe not this late at night, and if I'm not here Jesse'll have to take you."

"And I sure as hell would take you." Jesse pitched in, voice warm. "Sombra might tag along too, if she's bored." The truck slowed as it eased into the garage.

"Alright, out. It's time we get some sleep." Gabriel pressed a button and all the doors unlocked.

There was a skip in Hana's step as she headed towards Lúcio's tiny green car. "Thank you, Mr.Reyes! Have a good night guys!" She helped Lúcio get in the car and set up the specially made pedals his skates fit into perfectly, then climbed into the passenger seat beside him.

Genji watched, silently for once, as they left.

"Thank you, for this. Everything you've done means a lot to us." His voice was surprisingly soft, a harsh change from the boisterous laughs the kid usually let out.

Gabriel gave him a soft pat on the shoulder, and winced when Genji flinched. "Don't worry about it, kid." The retired war commander sighed, unlocking the front door. "If you all aren't asleep in five minutes I swear to god, there will be consequences." The teens rushed to enter, getting ready for bed in record time. Gabriel was pretty sure Genji just collapsed onto bed and conked out, his shoes dusting dirt onto the covers.

Gabriel may or may not have tucked him in. Technicalities.

 

Most people saw thrift stores as places to go when you're a bit down on money, a place to find cheap shelves and maybe even a nice shirt if you're lucky. Jamison saw a goldmine. Unlimited possibilities, all displayed so close to his fingertips... Fingertips that wanted to swipe something as soon as he came across it.

It wasn't like they were tight on cash; they used to be, before Mako found a well-paying bodyguard gig. Jamison had enough money in his pocket to buy whatever he wanted (with a few limits of course) at any of the grimey thrift shops, and yet the urge to snatch something off the precarious shelves and stuff it in his bag was slowly getting harder and harder to resist.

He _had_ to keep a rein on himself- he _had_ to get home without causing trouble.Tonight a new episode of How It's Made premiered and it always gave him good ass ideas to tinker with. The only reason why he was out of the house on such an important day was because his little craft corner had been a bit lacking in supplies. Mako had come along (as Jamison couldn't drive, and Mako didn't want anyone touching his bike) but stayed by the bike to make sure no one stole it. Jamison was alone on this journey, alone with tempting merchandize surrounding him on all sides. 

So he made the junk run quick. The faster he was out of there, the slower the owner would realize he had stolen a snow globe. Not that the owner really cared- the man had no scanners on anything because of how cheap everything was, and didn't really lose any money if Jamison stashed a few items away here and there. It was the reason why he went here so often, despite all his senses telling him not to.

Paying for all the junk he dragged along was easier than usual- you pay by the bag, and he had only bought one this time. Had to be quick, show started soon. He rushed to the motorcycle as fast as he could, stuffing the bag into the back compartment before leaping into the side car.

Jamison may or may not have stuck his tongue out as they zoomed by, cackling into the breeze.

Home was as cozy as usual. Dirty and beaten up, it reminded them of their origins and kept them in line- it felt better to lie in dirt than to be any sort of clean anyway. They were just used to it. The TV was pristine though, and Jamison happily flicked it on as Mako trudged into the kitchen to make something to eat.  
Jamison hummed in content as he settled down into his little corner, already surrounded with tools and various junk metal. The chime of the show's intro filled his ears and distracted him from wild thoughts. Although most of his focus remained on the little rocket he was crafting, he made sure to check the show with a keen eye, just in case something good popped up.

"Pancakes or omelets?" Mako's voice was gruff and tired.

Jamison made sure to consider the options for a good while. "Pancakes. Can I grab a few berries from the garden?" A grunt answered him. Jamison scurried to his feet and fumbled out of the back door, into the small garden Mako kept. Somehow the big man managed to keep it pristine, a dot of clean in an otherwise dirty and wrecked environment. He made sure to be careful when picking a few strawberries and blueberries, holding them gently in his palms and making sure not to take any that weren't ripe yet. After getting enough, Jamison headed back inside and settled them in a beaten down strainer, cleaning them off and removing rogue stems. 

"Done." Squealing in delight, Jamison snatched two of the pancakes Mako had finished and doused them in syrup and berries before running off to sit back in his corner. Mako came in a bit after with a scarsely topped plate and heaved himself down in his favorite recliner. They ate with the smooth voice of the voice dub guy playing as background music.

It was nice. A familiar sort of nice, a feeling that surrounded you in fuzzy comfort. Jamison wasn't used to nice things, and ever since they moved here he got more and more. He relished in the momentary happiness before continuing on with his rocket. Mako was taking him to an abandoned lot where he could set them off tomorrow, so he had to finish it soon.

 

Fareeha was surprised by how often she found herself chatting with the others. Her mother was beyond excited, already planning for an excuse to invite the other teens over. Daily she caught herself checking her phone every other minute, waiting for another joke from Genji or some crazy celebrity story from Hana or Lúcio. It was a good change for her. She had gone so long without many friends, and now she had so many... She had plans now. Going to the movies with Jesse and Lena, visiting the park with Amélie, playing with Hana on video games she was streaming and becoming popular with viewers even though she sucked.

She... She had finally taken her life back. A life her illness had stolen from her when she was little, a life she used to cry at night over. This life was hers now. It may be a bit stereotypic, but she felt free. Now that she had friends, the last step was complete.

But fear of the cancer coming back was omnipresent and never completely left her mindset no matter what she did. No amount of physical fitness could save her if if came back. Healthy eating wouldn't save her if if came back. Even with friends, she still found herself terrified.

It didn't matter though- she had only gone to one group meeting. Everything isn't solved immediately. She just had to be patient, trust Zenyatta to help her, and force herself to improve.

Good things come to those who _try._ And Fareeha would keep trying until she died.

The hiss of the weights falling reminded her where she was before her thoughts swam away. She was at the local gym, lifting weights- somehow physical work seemed to make her space out. She resumed her lifting process, trying to figure out how many she had already lifted.

"Fareeha!" A voice called from behind her, and Fareeha turned to face bright pink hair. "I was surprised to not find you here yesterday! Did something happen?"  
Fareeha smiled kindly at the Russian weightlifter, casually lifting a smaller weight in her left hand. "No, I just had a meeting with a few friends. Sorry I didn't contact you about it, Zarya."

Zarya chuckled deeply, shrugging it off and joining Fareeha in the specific exercise. "Do not worry! No harm done." She clapped Fareeha heavily on the back, almost knocking Fareeha down. "How are your parents doing?"

"Good. What about Mei, is she doing alright? And your roommate?"

"Ah! Mei is tiny bit stressed from work, but otherwise fine. Lúcio left house late at night yesterday, though, which worried me." Fareeha nodded along- she had been a bit surprised to find her friend's roommate at the group meeting, but by now she was used to it. "He came back looking happy, though."

Fareeha sighed softly, heaving the weights back to the shelf. "That's a good sign." She checked her phone and paled- 3 missed calls from mom. "Sorry Zarya- I know you just got here and I really wanted to hang out a bit but my mom needs me. Tell Mei I said hi!" Already rushing to the door, Fareeha waved at a laughing Zarya before stumbling onto her motorcycle.

When she entered the house, she expected harsh screeching to hover around her immediately- instead, she was met with silence.

"Mom?" She quietly crept into the livingroom, spotting her mother hunched over on the couch. Her father sat beside her, massive arms blanketing her in a hug. "Did something happen?"

Her mother glanced up, tears bubbling in the corner of her visible eye. "Oh, Fareeha..." Gentle hands reached up to gesture Fareeha close, wrapping her in a hug as soon as she was near enough. "Brigitte is... She got into an accident."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -that was a really bad cliffhanger and I know ok but Idk how else to end it  
> -There's always like a 25% chance I'll be proud of my work and honestly I'm a little proud of Jesse's nightmare and Jamison's whole thing  
> -I looked up how to say I love you in Japanese and I pride myself in NOT using Google translate but instead using this really nice article that talked about the different ways to say it so I did my homework  
> -And Fareeha would have a motorcycle, hands down. You can pry that headcanon from my cold, dead hands  
> 


	4. Slow Down (Bare Your Neck, Prove Your Worth)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Opening up is difficult.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gay is great  
> I am gay  
> I want a girlfriend  
> Fuck  
> -Lena, probably  
> -theme- Can't Stand The Rain by The Rescues

The doctors said Brigitte would be fine- simply a concussion caused by head force trauma, and a broken leg from the fall. She only returned from the front lines to stay with her family while her leg healed. She was fine.

It didn't stop Fareeha from worrying.

They used to be close; joined at the hip, never leaving each other's side. After Brigitte left for the army... It never really was the same. Fareeha hasn't talked to her since she left two years ago. Was Brigitte the same? Would she be mentally scarred like all old soldiers? Would she has physical scars haunting her every move, would she hate the world for her misfortune, would she hate Fareeha for not going with her, would she remember Fareeha, would she remember anyone, would she see-

Fareeha quietly crept into the hospital room, worriedly glancing around at the foreign ground. Rapid breaths left her lips as her heart raced. New ideas fluttered into her head, suggestions of what could go wrong. Would she go back? After this, would she go back, leave everyone again afraid that the next time she comes home it'll be in a casket, would she go back go the same battlefields that wrecked her before, would she go-

"Fareeha? Oh, I haven't seen you in ages!" Brigitte spoke cheerfully for someone who just woke up, eyes heavy-lidded from all the drugs pumped into her.

The smile on her face nearly stopped Fareeha's heart. "Yeah, uh..." Fareeha settled down into the chair next to the hospital bed. "What... What happened?"

Brightening at the idea of telling a story, Brigitte carefully sat up and crossed one leg while the other was carefully propped onto a pillow. "Oh! Ok, uh, funny story." Her fingers drummed against the side of the hospital bed, a nervous tick she somehow retained. "So while serving I was mostly doing stuff at the base, mostly fixing things and making sure the whole base was in working order..." She sank down into a massive story of base drama and miscellaneous tales, and Fareeha was sucked in completely, just like she was when Brigitte told stories when they were younger.

After such a long story, anyone would forget the problems worried over before.  
"And so Charlie got really mad, I mean REALLY mad, and as a kind of joke he was gonna lightly shove me and make me miss a step or two? But as you know he's really strong and miscalculated so I slipped and fell down three flights of stairs." Laughing, Brigitte rubbed the back of her neck. "But it's alright! Now I get to stay here and ride one of those little scooters and those are super fun."

Fareeha felt a little relieved to be wrong for once. No trauma, no scars, and although she's a little more grown up, it's the same girl. Even if she doesn't stay, it's the same girl.

They talked for a little longer- there was so much to share, so many stories to tell and hear. The hours ticked away so fast it left Fareeha a little breathless when Angela (a family friend and Briggite's main nurse) knocked on the door to tell them visiting hours were over. Fareeha left with a small smile curved on her face, a sharp contrast to how she looked entering the same halls.

 

To be fair, it wasn't Jamison's or Sombra's idea to go to chuck e cheese. It had been Genji's, suggested on the group chat and seen by most of the people in it. Amélie and Lena never answered and Fareeha was spending the day with a cousin, but everyone else was able to make it. Even Hanzo came- he didn't want to, but he came.

Hana went straight to the claw games, eager to win Lúcio and the others something to take home, while Genji tagged alongside them to help. Hanzo immediately moved to hide in a booth farthest away from the noise. Jesse ended up sitting beside him, trying to talk but not finding the words.

Meanwhile, Jamison and Sombra had become an unlikely team of destruction and chaos.

At first, they teamed up simply because they both wanted the biggest prize in the building- a mini trampoline. They settled on getting two (which increased the amount of tickets they had to get) because Jamison wanted to smother his with rockets and fake explosives, while Sombra wanted to line hers with LED lights, and the two themes didn't really mix well. Sombra hacked the machines with ease, swiping her own hacking card instead of the card the workers gave her after learning everything was electronic now. Usually it only got the machine to let them play for free, but sometimes she gained access into the point systems to push their scored up a few zeros.

Jamison, to Sombra's surprise, was amazing at arcade games. There was only so much Sombra could do- make the jackpot obtainable, raise up scores, get the machine to pump out a few more tickets. But getting the jackpot? That was Jamison.

The crowd that had formed around Jamison cheered as he expertly struck the button just in time for the light to stop at the final jackpot, smirking happily as the tickets rolled out.

"Woah! I didn't know you were so good!" Hana chimed up from beside him. "I have to invite you over sometime and see how good you are against a pro!" The statement was finished with a wink as Hana beamed at him. Jamison nodded along and watched as Hana left to continue playing a joystick game with Lúcio watching her. The crowd of people slowly dispersed while Jamison waited for all the tickets to pay out, foot tapping nervously on the sticky floor. He had already stolen a few things (mostly coin cards left abandoned after they ran out of juice- he could use them by putting more coins on them or maybe even melt them for the plastic) and it made him extra nervous. Before he and Sombra could move on to another game, he pulled her aside.

"Hey, uh, do you mind if I step outside for a sec? Need some fresh air." His body twitched randomly as he spoke.

Sombra shrugged and nodded. "Yeah, sure."

When Jamison sat on the concrete curve outside, he was surprised to find Sombra had followed him. Whatever. Company would be fine. He dug in his pocket, pulling outa popsicle stick and a lighter.

"Whatcha doing?" She was sitting beside him now, eyes trained on the stick he was trying to light.

It made him uncomfortable. "Uh... Lighting the stick on fire?" The stick finally took to the flame, and Jamison stashed the lighter back into his pocket.

Her breath huffed beside him, flickering the small flame. "That's not what I meant. Why?"

Jamison frowned- this was new to him. No one took interest in why he did the things he did, not even Mako. No one asked why he stole, why he blew everything up, why he lighted sticks on fire and stared at the flame to calm himself down. No one asked, no one cared. "I- Why do you care?"

Cause you're my friend, right? And I'm curious."

Oh. Lost for words, Jamison frowned down at the half-burnt stick. "Well, I... It calms me. Gives me a little burst of relief, like a drug. Same thing goes with, uh... Borrowing things."

To his relief, Sombra caught on pretty quickly. "Oh! Ok. Cool."

But that wasn't the whole story. He wanted to tell it all, his excitement _thriving_ because someone _cared_. "It uh. It makes me nervous when I don't do either for a while. Kinda like a drug, again. It's weird. I don't understand it too well."

Sombra pulled out her phone, and fear spiked in Jamison's chest. Did she not care did he go too far- "Well, I'm sure Google knows!" The fear sizzled down as interest rose to dominate it, and Jamison leaned to look over her shoulder. She typed a quick summary of what he said, which meant _she had listened_ , and- "See! Pyromania, first result. The whole 'borrowing' thing is probably kleptomania then. Here, take my phone for a sec."

His trembling fingertips held the phone as gently as he could will them to. "Oh." A pleased noise left his lips.

They blinked in surprise when Jesse and Hanzo left the building and passed them by, heading towards what seemed to be Hanzo's car. Unnoticed and a tad bit confused, Sombra and Jamison shared a look.

"Think they'll be ok?" Sombra's question was filled with concern, and Jamison wished he had a good answer.

"Dunno." He carefully snuffed out the popsicle stick's flame and handed Sombra her phone. "It's your brother."

Sombra nodded and slowly stood, helping Jamison stand and led him back into the building. "Yeah, I guess... I'm sure they'll be fine. Come on, we gotta win that trampoline."

 

"Wanna leave?"

Hanzo jerked to attention, glancing up to face Jesse. "What?"

Jesse chuckled and smiled, a beam of sunlight in the crowded arcade. "Wanna skip out? You don' look like ya really wanna be here."

"I... Sure. But where would I go?" His fingers curled into a loose fist on the table.

"Uh... How 'bout we go to a park? There's one not too far from here, I think."

Jesse stood and Hanzo scurried to follow, fumbling with the keys in his pocket. "Oh, uh- ok. I'll drive." His anxiety flared as they left the building. It really wasn't like he Hanzo had a choice- to continue suffering through the horrid environment that was the chuck e cheese was a death sentence, and leaving with Jesse was the only option to avoid. Still, it was terrifying to be alone with someone. He had only met Jesse a few days ago and he had already trusted Jesse's family with his own brother, already cried while Jesse listened, Jesse knew pretty much everything about Hanzo's life. There was only one thing left that Jesse didn't know.

"Mind if I ask a personal question?"

They had gotten into the car by now, and Hanzo had the excuse of driving to explain why he refused to make eye contact, especially after Jesse's question. "It depends on the question, Jesse."

The cowboy beside him hummed, fiddling with his hat. "Well, I was jus' wondering... Besides the family situation, there doesn't seem to be anything wrong. I mean I'm not judging or anything, people see me the same way until they find out my arms removable." He made a show of removing his prosthetic and waving his stump for Hanzo to see, smiling gently. Hanzo tried not to stare, body tensing with the route the conversation was going. "I just... Want to know more about you. I know about your family problems, and how much you love your brother, but I don't know anything about _you._ " A hand brushed Hanzo's shoulder.

Hanzo resisted the urge to squirm away. "What are you suggesting, cowman?"

"Let's make a deal." A toothy grin spread from Jesse's cracked lips. "You tell me something about yourself, I'll tell you something about me."

Brain sizzling from the rapid thought, Hanzo silently struggled to comprehend what Jesse meant. He wanted to know things about Jesse, so much it hurt, but was it worth...

Was it worth opening up even more?

"How did you lose you arm?"

Jesse hesitated for a moment, breath catching. "Fell off the cliff by the abandoned mines. Why are you in the support group?"

Hanzo bit his lip and mustered up some confidence. Somehow, being asked was so much easier than saying it of his own accord; one part of the confrontation process had been done for him. It wasn't like he didn't want to say anything. He wanted to say everything, but he never had the confidence to move his mouth.  
"I have... Many reasons for going. My brother wants me to go, and I do not want to disappoint him." He fiddled with the side of the steering wheel.

"Go on?"

Huffing, Hanzo dared to glance over at Jesse. Concerned. The damn cowboy was concerned, out of all feelings. "I was diagnosed with a severe anxiety disorder when I was ten."

"Ah." Jesse nodded, as if it answered everything. "Alright."

"Favorite color?" The confused look Jesse gave him was adorable- Hanzo felt himself smirk slightly. "I thought it would be a more pleasant conversation if we took a break from the heavy topics."

Jesse laughed, a joyful sound that Hanzo found himself blushing from. "Fair enough. It's red. What about you?"

That was easy- Hanzo didn't even have to think. "Blue. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?"

"Texas." Jesse jerked in surprise at a foreign sound that suddenly came from Hanzo, and it took a moment for him to realize that Hanzo was _laughing_ at him.  
"Oh, I should've known, cowman."

"Oh, shut up! What about you, then? Where would you go?"

This question was a bit more complicated. "I... Hanamura- a place in Japan. I have fond memories of the place." Hanzo risked another glance at Jesse as they finally found a parking spot, the two boys heading out to walk along the park's pathways. "What's the dumbest thing you've ever done?"

"Joining Deadlock to get out of the foster system." Both boys were surprised by the honest answer. "What about you?"

Hanzo burned holes into his shoes for a moment, feet shuffling on the lightly-colored trail. "Leaving Genji." A heavy pause followed afterwards, filled only by the chitters of the squirrels. "What's your favorite food?"

A heavy blush dotted Jesse's cheeks. "Uh... Chicken nuggets." The embarrassment was worth the sight of Hanzo _fucking cackling_ beside him, eyes crinkled from the unfamiliar muscle movements. _Fuck,_ Jesse wouldn't mind being an idiot more often to make Hanzo smile. "You done?"

"Yes, sorry." Hanzo took a moment to compose himself. "Your turn."

"You ever drink alcohol?"

"No." Hanzo led him to a deserted part of the park, complete with a little swing set and sandbox. Settling into one of the swings, he gestured for Jesse to sit beside him. "I had a sip of sake once when I was younger, but not enough to classify as drinking it. Have you?"

Jesse groaned softly and plopped himself onto the empty swing, glaring at the shrubbery in front of them. "Yeah. 'Fraid I'm a bit of an underaged drinker. Don't tell the cops." He winked at Hanzo to soften the blow, but Hanzo was unphased to begin with. "Is that..." Jesse cleared his throat. "Is that your real hair?"

Hanzo snorted. Jesus Christ that was adorable. "Yes. I take great pride in it as well." The swing creaked when Hanzo gently pushed against the ground, the rusty metal squealing like a dying cat. "Do you like swimming?"

"I used to. Had a... Bad experience with water a while back."

 

_Hold your breath a little longer, Jesse._

_Water flowed around him, strands of silky smooth currents wrapping around him, trapping him. It entered his mouth, rushed into his lungs, swirling whirlpools inside his chest. He refused to open his eyes, to give Them the satisfaction of seeing the fear shining in them. They wouldn't kill him, They wouldn't dirty Their hands that much. He just had to survive, just a big longer, satisfy Their disgusting need for horrid entertainment._

_But he couldn't last much longer. He needed out._

_The timer ringed, a foggy noise nearly lost in the liquid around him. He waited so patiently for the cage's ceiling hatch to open up, for the chains locking him to the bottom to be loosened so he could swim up. He waited forever, stuck in a limbo of suffocation. Let me out. His vision darkened. Let me out. Words choked around his tongue, and They just laughed. Please._

_His body felt heavy, not enough air. Legs sinking to the bottom, he finally opened his eyes, far past his pride. Pleading, near-death eyes. The cage drained, and They snickered his name, over and over, louder and louder, Jesse, Jesse, JESSE-_

 

"Jesse! Jesse, are you alright?" Jesse's vision was blurry. Struggling to sit up, he took note of his surroundings- he was still in the park, but on the ground with Hanzo sitting beside him. What happened? They had just been talking... "I'm sorry, I didn't know the question would trigger anything, I- You can hear me, right? Are you still out of it?"

Focusing on Hanzo's voice helped his his head settle. "Y-Yeah, I'm fine, thanks. Sorry about that." Jesse stumbled to his feet, ignoring the ghosts that still giggled in his ears. "What happened?"

Hanzo hurried to follow, leading Jesse back to the car. "You collapsed. Do you need any water? I think I have a bottle or two somewhere..."

"No, I'm fine, really." Heaving himself into the car seat, Jesse felt nausea creep up his throat, "Just need some rest, or something. Sorry." Jesse turned to face Hanzo just as Hanzo was about to speak, and he watched as Hanzo fumbled under the direct gaze.

"Please don't apologize, it isn't necessary." The atmosphere became uncomfortable, a hazy awkwardness blanketing the teens before they could stop it.

"So, uh... Genji said you like sweets a lot. What's your favorite?"

Saved by the cowboy yet again. How did he know that silence was a death sentence for Hanzo?

"A strawberry cake they would make in the bakery near my old home."

Jesse smiled softly, leaning back in the leather chair and sighing as his bones cracked. "Tell me more."

 

The computer screen turned black just as Sombra was getting past the final fire wall. Her heart rate skyrocketed- that was the government's files, she had covered her tracks so well there's no way they had found out so soon. Struggling to breathe, she willed herself to not vomit, body trembling as she realized how much shit she just got herself into-

"Sombra, you alright in there? The power went out, hope it didn't interrupt anything? Pretty sure Jesse did it, he had all four blender going on at the same time. It should be on in a second."

Oh. Thank god, she's good. "Don't worry about it, the meeting's starting soon anyway." She hopped out of her computer chair, waltzing into the kitchen. Gabe was right; Jesse was putting away all four blenders with a guilty look. "Jesse, what the fuck?"

The shrug he gave her was pitiful. "I dunno man, I was tryina-"

"He has a crush. Everytime he has a crush, he does this." Gabe clicked the breaker back into order and headed to the stove to finish breakfast. "You've just never seen it, Sombra. It's fucking hilarious." Sombra gasped from her spot at the kitchen island, eyes raising up from her phone.

"Leave me alone, viejo! I'm too tired for this bullshit.." Jesse glared at Sombra with the viciousness of a murderer. "Don't start."

There was no way Sombra wouldn't start. "You have a crush!" She giggled, typing something out on her phone. "Oh my god, is it Hanzo? It has to be, you were alone with him, oh my god! GENJI YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE-" Scrambling to his feet, Jesse ran after Sombra as she sprinted towards Genji's room while cackling like a madman. "Genji, wake UP! Someone has a crush ON YOUR BROTHER!" 

Genji's door slammed open- hair ruffled, clothes wrinkled, and beaming with the radiance of a thousand suns. "Did someone say crush?"

 

"Before we switch to the section reserved for sharing, I must say that the requests I sent in to get a psychiatrist and psychologist here to review everyone has been accepted. If anyone wishes to meet with them to ask about medication or any other forms of treatments, please tell me and I will get the notion settled. For now though, feel free to share anything you wish."

Sombra was perceptive- she noticed the way Jamison squirmed in his seat during the entire meeting, nervously glancing towards her. He wanted to say something, but was too nervous to. Thankfully, Sombra had no such fear. "Jamison?"

Said boy jerked to attention, eyes wide. "Huh?" He scanned the room, smiling slightly when Sombra gave him a thumbs up. "Oh, uh..." The chair creaked as he reclined back in it. "I was thinking about stuff and Google told me I could be a pyromaniac? And a kleptomaniac. Two maniacs, that's a lot." He chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his head. "And yeah? That's all I have figured out." Silence. The quiet made him feel worse, his smile fading.

"I remember once Hanzo tried to convince me he could firebend, and he stole Dad's lighter and burned his palm. I'm pretty sure he still has the scar."

"GENJI!" The loud cackles of the younger brother filled the silence as Hanzo's cheeks turned a bright pink, and Jamison found himself relaxing a bit.

Hanzo, unlike the rest of the room, was not amused. "At least I didn't steal father's antique blade, swing it around the living room, slice a couch cushion in half, and nearly cut off your own arm ALL because you wanted to be like Inuyasha!"

"Awe, come on! Gimme a break! I was like, 12!"

"You nearly killed your cousin." The room was practically howling from laughter now, and even Zenyatta had to struggle to hold back a few giggles. Something about the brother's interactions lightened the mood of an otherwise heavy surroundings, and the walls felt, for just a moment, a tad brighter.

It took a few moments for everyone to calm down. "Alright, that is enough everyone." Gentleness laced Zenyatta's tone. "Does anyone else wish to talk before we end today's meeting?"

A small, raised hand from the corner of the room drew everyone's attention. Hana shuffled anxiously under everyone's gazes. "I don't wanna ruin the mood or anything-" 

"Don't be silly, luv! There is no mood to ruin, this is therapy!" Lena interrupted from above her, standing on the tips of her toes as she rocked back and forth.

"Emotions are fickle things. To assume that they won't flux from feeling to feeling during a session like this is only going to cause disappointment and grieve. Share you troubles; that is what this meeting is for." The room fell silent again after Zenyatta's mini speech, and this time Hana was the one to break the silence.

"I, uh- I'm scared of going back to school next week. I transitioned during the summer, and although my dad called the school to make sure my pronouns would be corrected and everything I'm still really worried about how some of my old friends may treat me or how the teachers may react, and I don't even wanna think about P.E..." She shrugged, eyes falling to the floor. "Yeah."

A firm hand settled on top of her own, and Hana peeked up at the owner- Amélie. "I go to a different school than you do, and have already started my lessons, but I know you will not be alone next week." Amélie smiled and stood up fully, gesturing to the teens around them. "You are a friend to all of us. You'll have us when you need us, whenever you need."

"I will break someone's nose, if needed." Fareeha chimed in from the back, a sadistic grin crossing her features. "People tell me I have a killer punch."

Zenyatta fixed her with a pointed stare. "Violence is not usually necessary, Fareeha. Please do not resort to it unless absolutely needed."

"I won't, Zenny!"

"Alright." The young monk smiled lightly, rising to his feet. "Thank you everyone for returning this week. The meeting is over. Have a great night, and be careful with the traffic!"

 

Lena and Amélie found themselves going out for coffee ("Alone!" Hana had shrieked, giggling as Lena packed her purse. "You're going on a date!" This is not a date. Probably.) the day after the meeting. It was a small little café, nestled in the downtown area. They talked about mundane things and Lena tried her best to not flirt, found herself enjoying the day so much she never wanted the little outing to end. After drain in their coffees they moved to explore the boutiques that littered the area.

They turned a corner and Lena felt... Tired all of a sudden. She recognized the feeling, and bit her tongue as hard as she could to stay awake. This was the longest she's ever stayed awake- she had scheduled naps planned all day, and Zenyatta let her take a nap when needed during meetings. She had gone a full hour without sleeping, come on, she had to stay awake-

"Do you mind if we take a small break to rest? My legs are beginning to ache." Amelie's voice was a bit heavy. 

Lena nodded as Amélie led the shorter girl to a metal bench that lined the walkway. It was a relief to sit down and close her eyes for a moment, instead of biting her tongue so hard it bled just to stay awake.

_She was surrounded by tiny lights, crystal clear in their directions. Somehow she knew exactly what each button meant, what each light told her, what each switch turned on. Lena was completely in her element. Pulling the throttle, the plan lifted up, soared past her expectations, and her chest felt light. She found herself laughing out loud, giggles rising out of her throat as she rose up, the effects of gravity finally losing effect._

_A switch clicked on above her. The plane tipped, her head fuzzed out, and-_

Her head was leaning against something soft when she came to, curled up on her side. Still on the bench- oh fuck. She had fallen asleep on Amelie's shoulder.Too gay for this.

Amélie shifted and their eyes met. "Oh, you woke up." Her voice was vaguely disappointed.

"Sorry!" The bench creaked as she quickly sat up, face burning. "Didn't mean to. I'm ok now, sleep attack passed." Lena scrambled to fix her hair, hiding her face behind her hands as Amélie chuckled.

"Do not worry, Cherie. I did not mind." Amélie stood, holding out a hand for Lena to take. "Ready to continue?"

Lena took it happily, standing up and following Amélie as they continued down the street. Their hands stayed connected.

The shops they passed seemed to blur together as they went on, nothing really catching the attention of the two girls. Their hands swayed as they walked, a link binding them together in between. They briefly considered going somewhere else to finish up the day, until they spotted a girl working at a nearby bakery.

"Holy shit," Lena muttered, her skin blushing once again. She worriedly glanced at Amélie, hoping the girl wouldn't become jealous because of the budding relationship forming- oh. Amélie was checking the chick out too.

"Agreed." Amélie turned to face Lena and they locked eyes. A decision was made, albeit silently.

"How good are you at flirting, Amélie? Cause I suck!"

 

"Log 3." The camera was pointed at a ceiling, a soft cream that's aged darker over the years. A heavy sigh, followed by the squeal of an old computer chair. "Ugh, this is stupid. I shouldn't have asked Zen for tips, his advice was shitty." The camera flipped from it's original position to focus on a young girl leaning back in bed, purple-highlighted hair fluffed out around her in a halo. "It just makes no sense! How would this ever help?" The girl sighed again and rolled over in bed. The action shook the camera a bit, fuzzing the view for a moment. "Whatever. I'm supposed to talk about feelings and bullshit." 

"As you can see, this is the third time I've done this. The first two, I thought Zenny wouldn't listen to so I just pressed 'start' on record, let it run, and then turn it in, but he actually listened to it and fussed at me about it so... Yeah." Huffing, she sat up. "He said I didn't have to turn them in. I could like, say whatever I wanted and then just... Keep them. It's a weird concept. There's no purpose to record anything if your not gonna give it to anyone, right?" She seemed to think about it for a moment and flopped back down into her bed. Maybe its because you feel like your talking to someone so you don't feel weird, while also having the benefit of not actually opening up to someone. I dunno." She paused, fiddling with the camera's straps.

"It's getting worse, though. The... Thoughts, I mean. They're unsettling, and make me uncomfortable." A shrug and another sigh. "I just wanna help help Jesse and Jamie and the others, but I keep getting this random thoughts about how they don't really need me and there's no point for me to exist, and I... I'm just really tired." Silence. "Jamie's doing really well. He and Zenny talked about different coping mechanisms and medications he could try. Jamie seemed so happy... And Jesse, he's finally talking! I mean, not with me, which hurt, but with Hanzo. And... Yeah, I kinda felt rejected. I'm his sister! I'm supposed to support him. But I'm glad he finally got a few things off his chest. Maybe... Maybe someday he'll talk to us about what happened at Deadlock. Why he was at the bottom of the canyon when the police found him, why he wakes up in cold sweats most nights."

"So... Yeah. Wow." She chuckled softly. "Zenny was right, I guess. That helped a little." A smile slowly crept onto her face. "Thanks. Sombra out."

The recording clicked off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -As I, a member of the "My anxiety is so high my doctor thought I could be depressed too" crew, I can relate to Hanzo in so many ways  
> -including the "If someone asks you to do something you want to do (but are too scared to) it makes if easier to do it because your motive is covered", and the "Silence is nice but Idk if the other person thinks the silence is awkward so I gotta fill it so I don't make it awkward, therefore making the not awkward silence awkward because I hate myself"  
> -log one and log two are just Sombra screeching at a computer as she plays the dinosaur Google game  
> -if anyone has trans stories about school or other things I'd love to hear them, please tell me! If you want I can even weave them into the story- I want this to be as realistic as possible!


	5. Memories and Sleepovers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (His brother, the sparrow, the boy with wings.)  
> (You owe them nothing. No matter what they say, you owe them nothing. Remember that, Jesse.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -wowee, Hanzo's main arc is finally getting started a bit, the previous stuff has just been prologue  
> -everyone portrays Sojiro as either harsh, only fond of Genji, or harshly overprotective. I've taken a different route, I hope you like it.  
> -theme for this chapter- Si Tu Reviens by Louis-Jean Cormier and Brainwashing by RADWIMPS  
> Edit- I fixed up Jesse's nightmare to fill Pistol's attitude better. I read over this and found my original plans were far from what she became. Sorry for the confusion!  
> Also, all events that happen in "Pistol" before Jesse is taken into Blackwatch is considered canon for this fic.  
> Pistol was supposed to be a sassy lesbian aunt and I forgot there was the,,,, gun scene at the beginning

Jesse had to admit, he was a little gay for Hanzo.

It wasn't like he was gonna act on the feelings or anything- they both had some shit to deal with before they went anywhere. Lena and Amelie's budding relationship was one thing; most of their situations were physical, and it helped to have someone going through the same thing. Zen even agreed- gave them his brightest wishes and a soft hug.

But anyway, as he was saying- he had shit to handle before he asked Hanzo out. Which he would do. Eventually. Although Hanzo would probably say no, they haven't known each other that long. Whatever, he would figure it out. Maybe the phone call two weeks ago meant something? He trusted Jesse, out of everyone else he knew. That must count for something.

This brought his focus onto something else entirely- during the phone call, Hanzo refused to accept that the Reyes' had room for him, and instead shut Jesse down. Did that mean Hanzo was sleeping on the streets? Couldn't be. Hanzo was doing so much better lately, there was no way Hanzo would improve when sleeping in alleyways. Maybe he was staying with a friend? Whatever. It wasn't his job to worry so much, Hanzo had it handled. _"You were the only person I could think of to ask before I shut down."_ Jesse could still remember the panic, the pure fear laced in Hanzo's voice. It made him shiver.

_"I can't abandon him again."_

What happened to those two?

 

The night sky hovered over Hanzo when he awoke to his alarm screaming into his ear. His motions were calculated and mechanical, routinely getting dressed and combing through sleep-toustled hair. Everything he owned was stuffed into the small bag at his side and tucked away efficiently to fit as much as needed. Not like it mattered. He didn't own that much to begin with. Cold, shaky legs stood up onto the dirty ground and the area was quiet as the predators slept.

His car was still where he parked it, and he hurried to climb in and head out towards his work. The commute was quick. Shuffling past the other nightshift workers, Hanzo stashed his bag into one of the cupboards saved for workers to keep their personal belongings. After a quick cleanliness check in the bathroom, he trudged to his mini-desk where the drive-in spots were regulated, and got to work.

It was too quiet, too loud, and too much, but Hanzo worked through it from midnight till early morning. The hours ticked by until it's time for him to retreat, waving quick goodbyes as he headed out of their sight. He was so tired. Slinging his bag back onto his shoulders, he headed out towards the nearby fast food restaurant, quickly getting into uniform in the bathroom there before getting to work again. When had he last eaten? His stomach was eating him alive, but he didn't want to use any of his money on the worthless mystery meat they sold here, so he'd just have to wait. Here, there's no place to put his valuables, so he keeps the bag at his side at all times, and tries to keep a calm exterior around the other workers. It's late in the evening when he finally gets out of the place.

Then he's home. Or what he labeled as home for the time- a small little clearing hidden away from others in the park, shaded by live oaks and hidden by bushes. He hated it, dreaded returning there because if only reminded him of how much he failed. Couldn't even afford an apartment, and couldn't even lower his pride for a single moment to allow himself some refuge. The fact that he had been overjoyed when he was able to smuggle out a small portable stove made him livid with ruined self-image, but he couldn't bring himself to allow him anything more. 

He always was a coward.

 

_Sojiro Shimada was many things in his prime, but cruel was never one of them- Mother usually took care of Yakuza dealings. His ideals were what shaped Genji. It turned the son he spent the most time with into a willful boy with his own beliefs and flighty style of life- his own style, a style his father was proud of. Hanzo had always thought Sojiro was making fun of Genji with the stupid nickname of "Sparrow". To Hanzo, it was an insult- how cruel would it be to call out to your son the name of a weak bird that can be cut down in a single stroke? So quick to it's feet, so quick to run in the face of danger. A coward._

_But Hanzo was a fool, a child. Sparrows know when to pick fights they can handle, and when to run and never look back. He only realized the truth long after his father's dying breaths._

_Genji was always the better Shimada. No matter how much Hanzo struggled, fighting to prove his honor and place, Genji always found his without worry. Genji never turned into a puppet. Genji never betrayed himself. Genji... Genji was his brother._

_And Hanzo forgot that, once._

 

_The first thing he remembered from his younger years was his father's laugh. Spinning until they were dizzy, him and his father would fall into the pillowy grass, giggling as clouds blew past their heads. Mother was pregnant then- a baby boy, they presumed. A brother for Hanzo to lead, to protect, to trust in and to be trusted by. His father was so happy then, forgetting for mere moments who they were, what they did._

_He remembered that moment clearly in his mind, when his father pulled Hanzo to the side after Genji had been blessed by the Shimada Clan elders. Hanzo was only thirteen at the time, and recently introduced to the Shimada 'lifestyle'. Genji was only ten._

_"Hanzo, I have a request for you." His father was calm, but worry shined in his brightly-colored eyes. "I do not wish for Genji to share the same heavy burden you and I face."_

_Foolishly, Hanzo scoffed, "If you belief it so, why did you force me to learn? Do you see him as so fragile that he'll break? I'm sure he can handle it."_

_His father glared at him. "Hanzo, that's not what I mean. I do not say this because I feel as if he couldn't handle it, I say it because I want to protect him, give him a normal childhood. Something I couldn't get for you, no matter how hard I tried. Please, Hanzo. You love him as much as I do."_

_He was only thirteen. Foolish. Stupid imbecile. His father was never wrong, and yet in his jealousy he still acted out against it. Stupid, stupid!_

_Sojiro Shimada passed away 4 years later from a disease he couldn't shake. In those four years, while his father still lived, he did everything he could to follow the Clan elders, to listen to every wish, to complete every command. His father hated it, told him to run, to run with his brother, to escape from the criminal acts that would condemn them to a life of forever hiding._

_His father, the dreamer, a man who sailed through the clouds. His brother, the sparrow, the boy with wings. And he, the realist, the puppet, the chained._

_If only he were the dragon. If he was, he would have ran._

_But he was the puppet, and he did as he was told. He learned every trick they taught. Faced the brunt of the manipulation, took it in stride, let it settle in the pits of his stomach as it ate him alive. Was it pride, that forced his hand? Or was it that animalistic sense to protect what he loved, to follow the promise he had made. To keep Genji away from it. If the elders focused on him, they would never notice Genji. He would continue living, free, his wings spread out to reach the tips of the sun._

_Whatever it was, it tore him apart._

_Then his father fell, silently in his sleep. The last moment alive was spent with his sons._

_"Ah, my Sparrow and Dragon! Oh, how much you'll grow without me..." Genji had already fallen apart, crying rivers beside his father. Hanzo could only stand silent. How often had he scorned this man? This weak, dying man, who only loved his children and got hatred in return. "Sparrow, do not cry any longer, you are too strong for tears. You have so much to smile for. You have cried enough, save some tears for tomorrow." His father turned to Hanzo, a weak smile gracing sickly features. "Hanzo." After hesitating a moment, his father gently took Hanzo's hand in between his own. "My dragon. Please, do not fly too close to the sun."_

_Weeks after his father's fall, Hanzo finally learned what his father meant._

_His mother took charge- a cold, calculating woman who was used to handling most of the more... Sinister deals. She had been tired of Genji from the beginning, even from birth; she took his spell of grief as signs of weakness._

_The elders sent Hanzo another task._

_He could not follow it. He loved Genji so much, his father loved Genji so much, he could not... But he must._

_The next day, Genji and Hanzo Shimada were pronounced missing.  Hanzo had taken him away from the cage, abandoned him in a dingy hotel room on the other side of the country. No note, no sign. No contact. Genji wasn't even conscious when Hanzo brought him there._

_His brother, left alone. No money, no support, alone, for months. It was Hanzo's fault, he could've stayed-_

_But he didn't, because he was afraid, afraid to confront the truth, to hear his brother ask **why, why have they left home? Why won't the elders let me back in? Why are there guns, pointed in my direction** \- he couldn't face that. He couldn't. He was so terrified to face his brother, to face his father's claims, to face the reality of the situation, and he flew too far into the sun and instead of crashing down into the sea he crashed down into hell._

_So instead of returning to his brother, apologizing, he began to hunt. Picking off every Shimada had been a cruel task, fit for only the least honorable of men, wasn't even a man then, and still isn't. He forced himself to spare the dying, spare the sick, spare the kind. The elders were picked off, one by one. None of them defended his brother. His mother was next, the cruel figurehead of what he became. The lower down the ladder he went, the more confused he became; good honest men mixed with the disgusting parasites that rivaled Hanzo in filth._

_By the time all of the bad apples were picked off the tree, it had been about a year since his father's death, and he had retreated to America to hide away from the last few members who thirsted for his skin. A note fluttered to his hotel room's balcony one day, a note from Genji, delivered by the wind. **Return home,** it said, in blocky letters, so strikingly familiar to his brother's handwriting. The front door slammed open from the force of Hanzo's arm, footsteps clattering against concrete stairs as he tumbled down to the bottom, tears slipping down his cheeks as he ran into the waiting arms of his brother._

_"I've always known, anija."_

The memory ended as Hanzo woke up to the sound of his alarm clock- thankfully his thoughts faded away and once again, he refused to remember.

 

(Content warning- offensive words and dangerous antics- ends after italics)

_"Awe, he's trembling like a little bitch!" The leader said, a smug look covering his features._

_Jesse stood in the center of the rudimentary shooting range, a small apple core settled on top of his head. He willed his trembles down, biting his lip and glaring at the leader. "I ain't no bitch!" Hands resting on his hips, he resisted the urge to tilt his head as he turned slightly to face the girl who stood next to Leader- Pistol was her nickname, and Jesse's never learned her name.  "Go ahead and shoot, coward! Unless you think you're not a good enough shot?"_

_The member holding the pistol locked eyes with Jesse, scowled, and aimed. "Fuck off, or I'll blast your head off." Two shots, and the apple core fell to the ground._ _Jesse was unharmed- he thanked whatever god was above for that._

_Shaken, he stepped away and wobbled over to meet back with Pistol, her black skin covered in dust and sweat. This whole event was in hopes of impressing her- for the longest time, he's been trying to get her to teach him a few tricks. There was the agreement, but she hadn't held up her part of the deal yet._

_"Now will you teach me to shoot?"_

_Pistol shrugged, spinning the gun around her finger as she looked vaguely unimpressed. Jesse knew he had angered her- that was the point. Putting himself in danger was supposed to be a reminder._

_With a final glance towards his forehead, she nodded. "Yeah, sure Jesse." A few bottles and wooden boards with bullseyes were set up, a table kicked back to be a makeshift aim support. "Alright, go ahead and aim." She watched him sloppily hold the gun up before laughing. "Jesse, you ain't shit. Try to remember how I aimed and emulate that."_

_Jesse huffed, shift in his feet and getting into a new position. "Can't you show me or some shit? Guide my hands instead of watching?"_

_"Ugh, and touch your gross fingers? No thanks." She laughed and smiled at him for a moment, winking. "Maybe I could get one of the guys over here to help, get your gay ass a boyfriend." Despite her harsh words, her body language was relaxed and casual- they had traded these kinds of insults back and forth ever since they met, so Jesse really hadn't minded. She stepped over to guide him into the right form, helping him aim for his first shot._  
_Pistol was one of the only members Jesse could stand._

_He aimed and shot, howling in delight at an almost-perfect mark. "Oh, that was because I helped. No training wheels for you, fucker."_

_Jesse shrugged, laughing softly as he aimed again and got a bullseye. "Oh? What about that then?"_

_"You're a better shot than I first thought." She took the pistol and shot six times, taking out 6 bottles from the tables 40 feet away. "Not as good as me though." She turned to hear back into the main building, shoving Jesse lightly as she passed, "Come on, I need a drink. Care to join me?"_

_"Sure, if I get a bottle for myself. Gonna bring your Machie along?" He gestured vaguely at the bystanders, not really searching the crowd for Pistol's girlfriend. Jesse hadn't mey Machie (who's full nickname was Machine Gun, but Hesse couldn't bring himself to call her that) before, and he desperately wanted to._

_"Nah." They settled down in their usual spot, a small cavern near the entrances to the tunnels. It was much quieter here, and they drank in peace._

_"Jesse." Pistol's voice was softer than usual._

_Curiosity spiking, he turned to face her, eyes widening at the slightly vulnerable look she suddenly gave off. "What?"_

_A few moments of silence passed as Pistol analyzed his face before she handed him the pistol from before, a soft smile poking up. "Here."_

_"Why? Is this a bribe?"_

_She chuckled, clicking the safety lock on and shoving it into his arms. "No. Its me being nice. I like you, Jesse. You remind me of my son." Her expression darkened. "And I want you to get out of here. Get out of this gang. This place isn't meant for good people like you, kid."_

_He frowned, fiddling with the gun in his lap. "What about you? Not a place for you either."_

_"I have a debt I have to repay. Can't ever leave cause of it. You, though? You owe them nothing. No matter what they say, you owe them **nothing.** Remember that, Jesse."_

_"What- Pistol? Why are you saying all of this?" His face was coated with fear, fingers starting to tremble under the weight of the words. Before Pistol could continue, echoed footsteps shuffled in from one of the many entrances. He was shoved down into a dark abyss faster than he could blink._

_"JESSE!"_

_The last thing he saw before he was knocked out was her fearful face and outstretched arm as she watched him fall down into the tunnels._

 

Hana never really expected it to work out so well.

Everyone was able to come to the sleepover Hana planned to help her overcome the dread of school happening the next day- and all of them showed up at about the same time, so the room was loud and exciting pretty quickly. Jack at some point gave the "no fucking in the house" speech. It started out like a normal sleepover, not counting Hanzo's shy distance that he placed in between himself and the others. But that didn't matter- it was still really fun. Sombra ended up asking Genji how he did his eyeliner, and they vanished into the bathroom so Genji could show her how. Her father made snacks, Jamison set off a rocket and it landed in the popcorn, someone even found some nail polish and Amélie did everyone's nails. Perfectly, by the way.

And then Genji pulled out the DVD.

A collector's addition of the second Yu-Gi-oh movie, to be specific. Genji was set on convincing the teens to watch it.

A voice that hadn't spoke for a while rose up into the center of the argument that had slowly brewed. "You know, digimon is better that Yi-Gi-Oh." Hanzo's face was stoic, hands folded over his chest.

"Go be a furry somewhere else, Hanzo." The room was silent for a moment as the two brothers stared each other.

  
After a long 5 seconds, Hanzo doubled over and wheezed, laughing so hard he teared up. "Oh my god, Genji-" the others started laughing as well, and Sombra hadn't missed the lovestruck look Jesse had when Hanzo laughed.

The night continued on smoothly. A few pranks were set up on Jack and a few minutes spent changing into lighter clothes before they settled into some form of a circle.

"Why don't we play some Truth or Dare?" Lena suggested.

"With limits, of course." Hana chimed in. "No serious topics, and if the dare or truth is too much you don't have to do it. Its for fun, not for pressure!"

Jack peeked into the room, thankful that they had calmed down. "No sexual dares please, unless you go outside for it. I don't want to clean any carpets or do any laundry tomorrow."

"Got it, sir." Jesse smiled, gently removing his prosthetic and setting it to the side so he could be a bit more comfortable. "Hana, this party's for you, why don't you ask someone first?"

She shrugged and nodded, scanning the room lightly. "Alright... Genji, truth or dare?"

"Truth." He smirked, crossing his arms. "Better to play it safe."

"What's the most childish thing you still do?"

It took a moment for him to collect his thoughts. "Uh, I do so many it's hard to choose... Naruto running's a big contender. I do it all the time to piss Hanzo off." The others laughed as Genji playfully shoved Hanzo. "Alright, Alright. Lena!"  
Said girl had been quietly dozing in place, and jerked to attention at the mention of her name. "Oh! Uh, truth!"

"What was your first kiss like?"

Lena's mood soured. "Gross. The guy parked in front of my house and tried to make out with me, tongue and all. That was the last time I dated a guy." Body swinging on her butterfly pose, she turned to face the girl beside her. "Amelie! Truth or dare?"

Amélie smirked. "Dare." The room echoed with soft 'oo's.

"Oooh, first dare! Alright Amélie, make me smile!" Lena was practically bouncing in place, proud of her decision.

The french girl took the challenge gracefully, smoothly tilting her head and mumbling "J'adore tendrement les cornichons et led pommes de terres, _ma chérie._ " A few of the others blinked in surprise, Jamison started cackling, and Lena just s _wooned_. 

"Looks like someone has a language kink!" One harsh slap later and Genji had a red bruise on his cheek the size of Lena's hand. He still giggled, completely unfazed by the action. "Worth it."

Jamison finally caught his breaths, wheezing softly. "You know she said 'I really like pickles and potatoes', right?"

"What?! Amélie!" The room burst into laughter, the main couch shaking from the cackling teens. "Ok, everyone settle down! It's Amelie's turn to ask."

Amélie sighed softly, composing herself before turning to face Hanzo. "Truth or dare?"

"Truth, please."

"What's the stupidest thing you've ever done?" The room waited patiently, scanning Hanzo for his reaction.

On the outside, Hanzo was calm, stoic, an ever-present face of displeasure. On the inside, he was constantly screaming, and this was no exception. What was he supposed to tell them, that he left his brother alone at a hotel, knowing there was a very good chance a family assassin would find him and murder him on the spot?!

Instead he went with the first thing he could think of to use as a cover-up. "Eating Genji's homemade popcorn."

"Hey! My popcorn is Gucci and you know it!"

Hanzo shrugged, a small smile curling his lips. "Sorry Genji, but I would never lie about something so trivial." He then turned to Jesse, face impassive. "Truth or dare?"

"Dare- gimme something hard."

All eyes were trained towards him as he decided, wondering what Hanzo could consider 'Hard'. Hanzo had always appreciated wits more than sheer courage. "Write a poem."

It worked- Jesse was left sputtering in confusion, trying to come up with something to say. "I- what? Uh..." He scratched the small traces of stubble on his chin. "I ain't very good with words, Hanzo.

"Give if a try. You may surprise yourself."

Jesse huffed, glancing away. "Hm... Oh! I got it." For a moment the room went quiet, everyone wondering what he would say. "What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals-"

Hana started howling from laughter across from him, and Jesse couldn't really contain his laughter either. He tried to continue anyway, too determined to give up just because he was out of breath and already successful with the joke. "A-And I’ve been involved," he paused to take a deep breath, "in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills."

Most of the other teens had begun cackling as well, while Hanzo and Amélie remained confused for the entirety of the speech. "I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target." He took another pause, wiping away a tear. "will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words."

Jesse sighed softly, smirking over at Hanzo. "There, done."

"I must admit, I am... Confused and slightly disturbed." Amélie muttered, glancing at Lena for clarification. Sadly no one was really in good condition to talk until a few minutes later, when everyone settled down.

Lúcio was the first to recover. "Sorry you two. It's an American joke."

"Oh." Hanzo huffed, a little sad that he had missed something. "That makes sense. Americans have strange humor."

"Hey!" The cowboy screeched from where he had collapsed. "I'm a little offended." Hanzo didn't respond, simply looking away, and Jesse sighed. "Alright, uh...Sombra! Truth or dare." 

"Dare, cowman."

"Get a new hairstyle."

Sombra looked a bit surprised at that, blinking a few times. "Oh, ok. Anybody know how to cut hair right?"

Apparently, Lena did, and she did an amazing job getting rid of the split ends and cut Sombra's to hair shaved and half long. The haircut looked amazing, and Sombra laughed happily as she sat down. It seemed like the hairstyle fit her look much more than anything else she had tried. "Thanks, Lena. Jamie, truth or dare?"

Jamison shrugged. "Dare, I guess."

The freshly styled girl considerably brightened. "Oh, I hoped you would say that!" She rummaged through her bag, pulling something out. "Let me do your makeup!"  
"Oh, uh, sure." He obediently stayed still as Sombra began applying foundation while the others started to chat to pass the time. "Can I have red eye shadow? But don't make me look like a clown."

"Oh, don't worry hombre, I gotchu." She frowned as some of the highlighter smudged onto her shirt. "Go ahead and ask someone else something. This'll take a while."

"Alright!" Jamison pointed at Fareeha, temporarily forgetting her name. "Truth or dare?"

Fareeha was caught at a loss- she had spaced out a bit after not being chosen for a while. "Truth."

It took Jamison a while to come up with something, relying heavily on Sombra's whispers to get a good question decided. "Who's the prettiest person here?"

"Oh." She sounded pleasantly surprised. "Hana. She's really cute and enthusiastic." 

Hana beamed up at Fareeha from her spot on the floor, face heating up. "Awe, thanks!"

Fareeha sent her a wink. "Jesse!"

"Me again? Come on!" He groaned, sitting up slightly. "Alright. Truth."

"Tell us something you've never told anyone about before." Expression smug, Fareeha smirked at Jesse from her safe spot beside Amélie.

Everyone was pretty sure Jesse would murder her on the spot. He didn't, thankfully. "Fuck, uh... I can play guitar really well."

"What?!" Sombra almost fucked up Jamison's eyeliner, her own screech jostling the brush a fraction. "Sweety, you gotta play sometime."

"I will, I promise." Jesse turned to Lúcio, who instantly said "Dare" before Jesse could ask. "Alright, fair enough. Depict a human life through interpretive dance."

The DJ was caught into thought for a moment before he jerked to attention. "Easy." Waiting patiently until everyone's eyes were on him, he dramatically hummed a bit of music, dabbed, and then bowed. "That's it."

"I hate you so much." Genji was the one who said it, but the others pretty much all agreed. Lúcio took if in stride.

"Thanks, really appreciate it. Hana?"

"Dare!"

"Serenade the person to your right!"

No one knew who was more excited for the dare- Hana, Lucio, or Jamison, who ended up being said person to the right.

"Alright, alright, I got this." She turned her body to have Jamison's, her arms held up in the air to play pretend-guitar. "Ready?"

Jamison tried his hardest not to mess Sombra up. "Y-Yeah."

"I love you," Hana winked, smirking, "bitch." Letting the 'I' drawl as long as she could, she sucked in another breath. "Never gonna stop loving you-" she stopped mid-sentence as Sombra slammed her face with a pillow.

"Shut up, every time Jamison laughs I mess up! Let him be beautiful!"

Giggling, Hana rolled over to face her. "Yeah, sorry. I gotta ask, though... Jamison, trust or dare?" She narrowly avoided the second pillow.

"Truth. Don't think I could do another dare right now."

Sombra huffed, resuming her work on his eyebrows. "You are correct."

"What was the most awkward romantic encounter?" Hana asked before Sombra could interrupt again.

Jamison shrugged. "Haven't had many. I mean, there was this one girl who thought I was checking her out. when I was really trying just to look behind her into this cool shop window. It had rockets and blasters, and most importantly, batteries. She ended up giving me her number and I didn't know what to do with it." He waved Sombra away for a moment, finally fed up with her constant contact. "Lena, truth or dare?"

"Truth!"

"What was your most embarrassing nickname?" It was all he could think of without Sombra's help, but it worked well enough.

The track runner didn't really have to think it through either. "In 6th grade my friends called me sonic." Deciding to leave poor Sombra and Jamison alone, Lena glanced over at her sister. "Truth or dare, sis?"

"Truth."

"What was the most embarrassing thing posted about you on social media?"

"Oh man.." She groaned, flopping over onto her back. "Someone caught a screenshot of a stream I did once, while I was mid-sneeze. The photo went viral and I was mortified." Like the others, she was beginning to get tired, so she didn't even bother to sit up when asking. "Hanzo?"

"Truth."

"Have you ever let someone take the blame for something you did?" It was a surprisingly thoughtful question, and Hanzo found himself considering it.

Genji thought if was stupid. "What? There's no way, Hanzo has this major honor complex-"

"Yes, there was this one time where I accidently broke one of my mother's vases. A maid ended up blamed for the deed." His brother gasped, eyes widening.

"I knew it wasn't Amanda..."

Hanzo ignored his brother. "Amélie?"

Huffing impatiently, Amélie laid down beside Lena, who had already fallen asleep. "Can we simply agree to just ask truth questions from now on? I'm sure everyone is too lazy to get up." Everyone mumbled their agreements and Hanzo simply continued on with a question.

"What is something that people think you could never do, but you have?" Amélie's lips curled into a smile.

"Ballet. My instructors believed I was too... Lazy to complete anything. So I proved them wrong."

Sombra chuckled, putting her makeup away. Jamison looked gorgeous, for the record. "Honestly, that's the only way to go. I'm pretty sure I'm purely living off of spite."

"The gift that keeps on giving..." Jesse mumbled from his semi-concious state, listening but not comprehending enough to give solid answers.

"Fareeha, have you ever had an bad date before?" Amélie asked.

The older girl managed a shrug. "Once I went out with a dude that wouldn't shut up. So when he dropped me off, I punched him." Lúcio snickered behind her, and she turned to glare at him. Lúcio, have you ever been cheated on?"

"Yep!" The response was as peppy as usual for the jazzy kid. "But we're still good friends." He clicked off his skates, one at a time. "Genji, what's something you have the silliest emotional attachment to?"

Hanzo was so close to sleep he almost missed his brother's response.

"Sparrows. Like, the bird. They're cool." He laughed along with the few others still coherent, and each chuckle stabbed Hanzo's chest with rusted pikes. "Anyway, final question! For my dearest Sombra of course, I must ask you this important inquiry- who here has the nicest ass?"

Sombra nearly spit out a whole mouthful of water, a hand quickly cupping around her lips. It took a moment for her to get a handle on her situation. "Um, obviously me?" She shoved him playfully. "But besides me, and remember I'm gay so this is purely platonic, I'd have to be you, my ninja friend." Genji had to fight to contain his giggles.

"Alright, that's enough. Let's sleep now before someone collapses." Jesse murmured. It had gotten late. After squirming around for comfortable positions someone eventually just curled up right on Jesse's arm. Someone else decided his chest would make a great pillow, and, well... It sort of just went on from there. A massive cuddle pile resulted and Jack would never admit it, but his heart melted at the sight and he instantly sent photos to Ana and Gabe.

 

 **Banana** : you guys

 **Banana** : image.png

 **Aaaaaaaaa** : JACK OH MY GOD

 **Aaaaaaaaa** : thank you so much

 **Aaaaaaaaa** : **@rainheart** come here look at our children

 **Aaaaaaaaa** : they've grown up so fast

 **Rainheart** : Fareeha has honorably become a human pillow.

 **Rainheart** : I have never been more proud

 **Gaybe** : Morrison why is your daughter drooling on my son

 **Banana** : I don't know, maybe because he's getting squishy? Don't ask me, I don't want to find out

 **Banana** : No one's had sex, that's all I asked

 **Gaybe** : Are you sure? French girl looks like she's practically glued to Lena

 **Banana** : fuck off

 **Banana** : it just so happens that my baby girl has better moves than you, mister Gabriel "I haven't had a date in two years" Reyes

 **Gaybe** : I

 **Aaaaaaaaa** : Gabriel "I haven't had a date in two years" Reyes found dead in Miami 

 **Rainheart** : this is why I married you

 **Aaaaaaaaa** : awwwwwwww

 

(Content Warning- non-graphic descriptions of wounds, dream dying) 

 

_Hanzo awoke to find himself surrounded in cherry blossoms. Only one place from his memories had those trees, and it instantly set him on edge. Careful footsteps wandered his surroundings. Hanamura, his home, the place he simultaneously never wanted to return to but still longed to see once more. He stumbled into the grassy garden area, eyes spotting an older Genji sitting beside his father. His father, alive._

_Genji must've been around 23, but his father looked not a day older and not a minute weaker than from what he had been a year before his illness struck. Lively and laughing, his father called out to him, his brother following suit. Overcome with something, Hanzo rushed to join them, falling into place. Like a final puzzle piece set._

_**Kill them, Hanzo.** The irresistible urge came over him in a split second, and he fought every inch of his body to deny it. He wouldn't do it, he **refused-**_

_Genji cried out as Father was struck down, an arrow perfectly landed straight into the back of his head. The bow's ribbon twinged softly as it was pulled to shoot once again and Genji huddled against him, into his arms like a frightened child._

_**Kill him, Hanzo.** _

_He wanted to scream, to scream a refusal or a warning, but his body moved against his will. The only thing he had to himself was his tears, dripping freely as his sword lifted into the hair. He didn't even remember standing. What was worse? The action, or the sad acceptance Hanzo found in his brothers face as the slash hit him at full force. It was over before it began. Genji hadn't even defended himself._

_His body, at the worst time, regained self-control. Trembling fingers cradled a rapidly-cooling face, his knees dropping to the ground. Mother was not pleased by his weakness- Mother knocked another arrow and aims true, hitting his back with the force of lightning. Animalistic instincts took over as he gathered his brother into his arms, legs moving as fast as his body could possibly allow and then further, past the realms of reality. Somehow, Genji was still breathing, Hanzo could feel his heartbeat pattering weakly against his chest. Hanzo's legs slowly fell apart into crystals below him and he crashed into a wall he swore wasn't there before, and he was forced to lean against it as he watched his brother breathe. In, out. In, out. In-_

_He watched slowly as his body bled dry, until the hazy world faded to black._

He woke up, rushed into a stranger's bathroom, and vomited into Jack Morrison's toilet.

_"My dragon, my Hanzo. Please, do not fly too close to the sun."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Jamison be looking like some Gucci shit  
> -longest chapter of full-on writing! Technically chapter 2 or 3 or something was the longest cause of the texts but,,, boy howdy this is like 15 pages of full on angst and fluff  
> -to make things clearer, all flashbacks from Jesse's point of view happen before the first flashback, where he loses his arm. When he got out of the hospital after losing his arm, Gabe adopts him. Gabe is a foster care worker and is the first to go in and retrieve the kid when abuse is reported, and he was one of the first responders when investigating Jesse's case.  
> -do you guys want me to give you guys a tumblr link or something? This fic's getting popular and It'd be nice cause then I could ask for any suggestions in an,,, easier format. Having stuff I want to ask y'all and then waiting all the way until I update again is getting a bit annoying?


	6. Worry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She softened, taking a moment to pet his hair, frowning at the way he curled into the touch. "You really need a boyfriend so he'll do this for me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly I should just edit the fic's summary to focus on Hanzo, Genji, and Jesse because their the three I consistently write for lsldld... sorry y'all I have priorities for my three sons  
> Theme- O.K. Fine by Clover the Girl  
> *Content Warning- Suggestions of rape and the process before getting branded (gang symbol) during Jesse's nightmare. It doesn't ever happen in the writing itself so I wont tag it, but it's suggested so if you don't want go read that just skip Jesse's nightmare! I'll give a summary of the nightmare in the end notes. The nightmare is all of the italics stuff, and I'll add lines to keep it nice and separate.

_She was naked in the center of the classroom._

_Everyone could see her scars, her flaws, the things she wanted to be rid of. Nothing was hidden from their prying eyes. None of the kids noticed, no one cared, but that just made it even more terrifying, standing in the center with all eyes on her and she couldn't avoid it-_

Hana woke up in a cold sweat, confusion lacing her rapid thoughts together. The memories of the night before came to her slowly- the sleepover, the cuddles. That would explain why she couldn't really move. Sombra was sleeping peacefully on her arm, and Hana was pretty sure someone's legs were tangled with Lena's on her chest. She weaseled her way out of the pile just in time to see Hanzo stumbling out of the bathroom, face pale and body trembling.

'Nightmare?' She mouthed, leading him away into her room so they could talk. A nod was the only response she got, and she lightly shoved him to sit down as she closed her bedroom's door. "You alright?"

"I'm fine, thank you. It was nothing I haven't dealt with before. What about you, why are you awake?" His position was light and tense, ready to bolt at any moment.

Hana sighed and sat down next to him. "Nightmare, like you. I'm terrified of going to school and if kind of bled into my dreams." Fiddling with her shorts, Hana leaned lightly against him. "Was naked in the middle of a classroom. Everyone was just... Staring. I hated it. "

Hanzo found himself shocked by the tentative affection Hana gave him. He wasn't really used to such a closeness with anyone besides Genji, and he found himself wondering where to put his arms. "I'm sorry you had to experience that. I hope school is better."

The streetlight outside flickered as she curled up closer. "I'll make sure it is." She glanced hesitantly at his face, searching for some sign of emotion. "What about you? You look sick."

"It's nothing, I said so before." He tried to brush off her incredulous look but he ended up caving. "I just... A simple nightmare."

"What happened in it? If you don't mind sharing, that is."

It wasn't that he didn't want to share, it was that he didn't know how to share. "I... I killed Genji. Simple, as I said before."

"Hanzo, that's not... Dreams originate from fears. Are you scared of killing your brother or something?" She was genuinely confused, and rightfully so.

Hanzo shrugged her off, a wall of ice breaking her off as he stood. "Don't worry about it."

Entering the crowded highschool was terrifying.

Terrifying for many reasons; being a freshman, this was a whole new place. Hana barely new anyone besides Genji, who she had practically attached herself to. Being trans for the first school year also put a dampen on her spirits, as she had no experience with correcting others because before, no one knew anything different. She could walk down streets and people would know she was a girl.  
But here, the teachers wouldn't.

The orientation for all students was held in the auditorium, a sparsely lit room with cheap movie-theatre styled seats. Everyone was sorted by grade. The principal made the usual introductions before waving at a few teachers to his right, who sat at pop-up tables with piles of papers beside them. Schedules, he said. Today the freshman would stay in homeroom to adjust, and the higher grades would go from class to class normally, with a few minutes knocked off each hour to make up for the orientation. Hana followed Genji quietly towards the tables.

Along with the help of the teachers there, they were able to snatch their schedules and hide away somewhere quieter to read them. As she expected, her dead name lined the top (although it was scratched out and replaced by her name, per Jack's request) and her gender was still marked as male. Which means would have to bring it up with every single teacher tomorrow, when they went through the first normal day.

Genji pulled her out of her thoughts with a gentle hum. "Three classes together and homeroom. Oh, and we have the same lunch! That's a lot better than I expected, honestly." He bumped her hips with his own, leading her down the hallway. "Come on, let's get to homeroom. Do you want help talking to the teachers?"

"Yes please." Her voice was quiet. Glancing down at her schedule card, she softened at the bright green marks Genji had wrote in the signify what classes they had together. It soothed her racing heart enough for her to breathe. Especially since she noticed his state: even after forgetting his medication this morning, he managed to put his worries aside to help her. His brain must be in hyperdrive from trying to take in all the new sights and smells all at once. "Are you doing alright?"

Genji laughed, giving her a bright smile as they approached the door. "As well as you are." A few students bumped into them on their way to their respective classes. "You ready?"

She nodded, and they entered the classroom.

The walls were a strange green, disastrous bookshelves lining the walls and precautious lab tables haphazardly filled the room. A large, dark-skinned man was currently struggling to clear off some of said tables, glass bottles gathered in his arms. Hana was pretty sure a stack of empty peanut butter jars sat in the corner of the room, hidden by a projector screen.

"Come in, come in! Please don't mind the mess. Don't sit at the tables yet! Chemicals and such. Excuse me, pardon..." He huffed past a few students on his way to the closet.

Hana felt awkward not doing anything. "Do you want any help?" She set her stuff near the doorway, happy to see Genji and two other students do the same. The rest of the students ended up sitting outside the room.

The big man (presumably the teacher) considered them a moment before smiling happily, stumbling back into the room. "Yes please, thank you! Put some gloves on though, don't want anyone getting hurt."

They worked in a comfortable silence (although Hana was pretty sure Genji was humming a song from Naruto) as they cleaned, and Hana took the time to glance over the two other students- a light-skinned boy with light blond hair and blue eyes, paired with a bulky dark-skinned girl with dark, brown curls accented a bright green. She was really pretty, and by the way they acted around each other, Hana briefly wondered if they were dating.

"Thank you again! You must be some of my homeroom students, right? I'm Dr.Winston. What's your names?" The question was simple enough but it made Hana's anxiety spike.

The large girl answered before Hana could. "I'm Orisa, and this is my friend Bastion." Orisa made a few hand motions to the boy beside her, and he made a few rapid motions in response. "Bastion says it's nice to meet you. He's deaf." She added, and the handmotions made a bit more sense.

Winston lit up by the insight, smiling a bit brighter. "Oh, I remember the administrators talking to me about that! It's nice to meet you both." He signed a few things sloppily that made Bastion smile, and turned to face Hana and Genji. "What about you two? I'm assuming you're Genji, I'd recognize the Shimada face anytime."

Genji lit up. "Oh, you taught Hanzo!"

"Yes, he was a wonderful student! Distracted, but got along with everyone well enough. Who's your friend?"

Her hands trembled as everyone's eyes were suddenly on her. Usually she was so good around people, but this was terrifying, her bones were suddenly too weak to move-

"This is Hana, a friend of mine." Genji gave her a gentle nudge, smile warm.  
Deal breaths. "Hana Song Morrison, actually." She gave Winston the brightest smile she could muster.

He returned it happily. "Jack Morrison? He has another daughter, then. Guess the role list was wrong, better fix it." He ambled his way to his desk, reclining back in a large chair as he scanned a printed list.

A line was drawn through "Holand" and replaced with "Hana".

One down, seven to go.

Lena's first day of school was pretty boring until she spotted a familiar face at the other end of the hallway. Instantly panicking at the sight of Emily, Lena scrambled to pull out her phone and text Amélie.

Chérie: Hey hey emem do you remember that really hot girl we tried to flirt with at the bakery

 

Her phone pinged a moment later.

 

Emem: yes, I remember her quite vividly.

Chérie: well she's here and I'm super gay and aaaaaa

Emem: Oh god. Make a move, my sweet useless lesbian. I want to be dating her just as much as you do.

Chérie: FUCK IM NOT GOOD AT FLIRTING OK UH BYE I LOVE YOU

Emem: love you too, Cherie. Good luck.

 

Lena forced herself to approach Emily, an awkward smile on her face as she chatted to the best of her gay ability. Emily laughed at her, and Lena didn't care because her laugh was so pretty, and before Lena left for her next class she managed to sneak a picture and send it go Amélie.

 

Chérie: image.png

Chérie: she's so hot

Emem: I know.

Emem: I have eyes.

Chérie: .

Chérie: you're really hot too

Emem: I know ;)

 

* * *

 

 

_The alcohol burned as it slipped down his throat, a delicious feeling he'd never grow numb to. They cheered behind him and roughly shoved his shoulders. His empty flask of whiskey was quickly replaced with a full case, and he downed it with ease. Another cheer, and money was passed around. A bet? Didn't matter. Jesse was getting tipsy, and he needed to slip out before it got worse._

_"Ah, come in Jesse! Another round?" The bartender offered, another flask already filled to the brim in his hands. It wasn't like Jesse could refuse- Leader was there, watching his every move. Leader doesn't like fucking cowards._

_Head buzzing, Jesse begrudgingly took the flask and downed it, holding back a gag. The world spun around him for a moment before he could right himself. He was getting drunk. Fuck. "Alright guys. I better go, make sure Pistol doesn't puke all over my bed." It was the only excuse to get away that he could come up with at short notice. The only excuse they would believe. Everyone already thought they were dating, and Jesse didn't really have the guts to set them straight. Not when there's so many of them. Not when he's so wasted._

_"I'm sure the missus can take care of herself! You look a little tired though, why don't you come back to my room, could show you a good time and let you get some nice rest?" Jesse had no idea who was speaking, but the urge to get away combatted quickly against the knowledge of what would happen if he did. He knew exactly what happened after this, he had to get away-_

_A hand cupped his chin, pulling him up to face someone unfamiliar. They were smirking, gold teeth gleaming in the light. "Come on, Jesse!" His head slammed into the nearby wall, knocking the air out of him and reducing him go a puddled mess. Brain thoroughly scrambled, he was weak to whatever they did._  
_He let it happen. Wouldn't remember it anyways, so what was the point?_

_"Oh, Jesse..." The pillowcases had started to stain by the time Pistol entered, turning brown from the dried blood. After everything, Jesse had only enough strength to collapse into bed before blacking out. "Come on, get up." His eyes fluttered open as she lifted him, carefully leading him to the bathroom to clean up. She was surprisingly gentle, despite everything._

_"m fine, doll. Gimme a minute to rest, and I can clean myself..." He grumbled as she unceremoniously dropped his clothed ass into the bath, turning the water to a lukewarm as to not aggravate the cuts and bruises. "Please, darling."_

_He didn't want to look weak, not after all that._

_"Shut up, cowboy. I'm just cleaning your wounds, they need to be treated. Got some advil, want it?" He nodded wordlessly and she shoved it into his mouth. "Good. Cooperate and this'll be over soon." She softened, taking a moment to pet his hair, frowning at the way he curled into the touch. "You really need a boyfriend so he'll do this for me."_

_That got her a laugh from the tired cowboy, although Pistol wasn't sure the laugh made anything better. "Aw, guess your right. Would kill for someone to share my bed with or somethin."_

_"I'm not volunteering." A moment of relative silence as Pistol struggled to pull his shirt off. "Don't give me that look. I got my own stuff to take care of."_

_"Oh?" He had started to nod off as the medication took effect. "Was that really Advil?"_

_For a moment Pistol didn't respond. "No, it wasn't. Sorry, Jess. I'll make sure no one gets to you, I promise. Just need you to be sleeping."_

_"Why?" His voice was getting quieter, his eyes flickering open and closed._

_"Well, you need the rest." She laughed softly, and started combing through his hair again. "And I need to do some tests that you wouldn't want to experience conscious. To make sure they didn't..." She hesitated, her fingers not stopping the calming motion. "You know what I mean."_

_He blacked out, and awoke to clean sheets and clean body, head resting in Pistol's lap as she ran thin fingers through his curly locks._

_Clean is a relative word. He still felt dirty, right down to his core._

_His vision went dark for just a moment, and cleared just as six shots rang out from a pistol in his hands. Six shots, six bodies. Six sins._

_Panting, Jesse ignored the pats on his back as he entered the hideout again, letting himself be led by Leader deep into the mines. The tiny tunnel got warmer and warmer as they walked until they arrived in a scorching chamber, where another member stood with a rod in his hand. A fire burned brightly in the center, and Jesse saw a few buckets in the corner, filled with cool water._

_Leader shoved him to the ground, and Jesse fell obediently. "You passed, somehow. You're one of us now, whether you like it or not."_

_"Better than dead." Jesse muttered, pushing away the cloth someone handed him._  
_Leader laughed, slow and cruel. "Oh, you're wrong. This place is hell." Swinging his hips, Leader swayed back to let his assistants take care of holding Jesse down. "You might want that cloth, Jesse. It's nice to bite down on something. I speak from past experience."_

_Grunting in confusion, Jesse struggled against the members holding him down, panicking as they pulled his shirt up. His face ground into the rock under him as they forced his stomach flush to the ground, holding his back steady. Another member eventually forced the cloth into his mouth, and Jesse didn't know if he should be angry or thankful._

_"Careful now. This'll hurt." In the corner of his eyes, Jesse spotted the member with the rod, dipping it into the fire to turn a glowing red. A brand. They were going to brand him._

_Jesse struggled against the others with renewed energy, adrenaline rushing through his veins. "No!" His pleas were muffled against the cloth and fell on deaf ears. No matter how much he tried, the members holding him refused to give up._  
_His back exploded and he blacked out._

 

* * *

 

 

Jesse woke up covered in sweat, his alarm jolting his heart a mile a minute, so fast he was sure there was no way he was even breathing. Scrambling out of bed, he stumbled towards the door but tripped on the way, whimpering as he toppled to the ground. His blankets seemed to strangle him. He couldn't breathe. It was suffocating and unavoidable.

Random shit fell off the bedside table as he gripped it tightly in an attempt to stand, but his single arm could only lift him so much. Helpless on the ground, Jesse curled up on himself and resigned his mind to the pull. Anytime he closed his eyes, he was back, surrounded, pinned-

"Jesse?"

A muffled curse fell from his lips as Jesse struggled to twist around. His phone was on the floor-must've fallen, but who- another whimper left his lips as he saw the caller ID. "H-Hanzo-"

"Jesse?! Is everything alright?!" Hanzo sounded scared, damnit, Jesse was supposed to be the reassuring one. Jesse managed to sit up, leaning against the bed, and held the phone to his cheek with trembling fingers as fire seared his skin, scorching him, burning him alive.

"Y-Yeah, 'm fine. Just a misclick." His voice wobbled as he spoke. Hands covering his throat, his chest, his-

"Where are you?" Fuck, Jesse didn't really know anymore, his body sweating, struggling to cool down. So lost in his thoughts, he struggled to come up with a decent lie.

"What kinda- I'm home, like I should be."

"Where is home?"

The question caught Jesse off guard. "Ah, uh... Fuck, I don't know." He held back another whimper as pain fluttered around where his arm should be, wiping away tears with his elbow. When did he start crying?

A muffled curse spilled into his ears. "Your name is Jesse McCree. You're seventeen, you have an adoptive father named Gabriel Reyes and an adoptive sister named Sombra. Are you following?"

"Y-Yeah, I'm following." Jesse continued to focus everything he had onto the voice in his ear, only answering with soft grunts as the voice brought him back to reality.

The fire disappeared, the pain dissipated, slowly but surely putting him at ease.  
"I'm good, Hanzo." Deep breath. "Thank you."

Hanzo's voice was soft. "It's nothing, Jesse. Do you... Do you want to talk about it? I've heard that helps." 

Opening up was always hard for him, but damn, it would be so nice for someone to know. Someone like Pistol, who wouldn't even have to ask. They would know exactly what to do, and he would feel _safe._ Maybe Hanzo couldn't be that person, not yet, not so soon, but this was a start. "Alright. Remember... Remember when I told you about my arm? About how I lost it? Well, that wasn't the full truth. I didn't... I didn't lose my arm during a hiking accident. It was off that damn cliff of course, but it wasn't an accident. I jumped."

"Were you..."

"Oh, no!" Jesse slowly settled into himself, found himself laughing softly to clear the air. "Was never like that. Jumped on a dare. Or an order. There never really was much of a difference in Deadlock."

Hanzo hummed, and Jesse felt himself buzzing. "Part of a gang?"

Jesse gulped. "Y-Yeah. Was in foster care ever since I was little, and Deadlock took me in. Said I owed them cause they gave me a place to stay, and I ended up doing whatever they asked. They... They did a lot of shit to me. I did a lot of shit for them. And that day... They told me to jump off. There was a platform below, and if I landed on it I would be fine. Missed the platform, and machinery sliced my arm off as I fell. Police found me an hour or so later, half dead from the blood loss."

"And the members...?"

Chuckling darkly, Jesse started biting his lip. "They laughed and then ran. Pretty sure the police found me by accident. Gabe was on the team that got me out, and he later adopted me."

"Ah."

They went silent for a moment. "Hey, uh, Hanzo? I know it's really late and you probably need you sleep, but.." Jesse slowly pulled himself back up into bed. "Can you keep talking or something? I don't... I don't wanna go back t'sleep. And your voice is nice."

Hanzo was caught by surprise. "Sure."

 

It was a lot for Hanzo to digest in a bank's bathroom. He thought about everything while he got back to work, humming absentmindedly into the phone as he scribbled checks and slipped bills into the bank's catalogues. To think that Jesse had also been involved in crime organizations was baffling. Jesse was just... Too sweet. Then again, Genji was also too sweet.

Hanzo nearly cooed at the adorable sound Jesse made on the other side of the line, apparently appreciating whatever song Hanzo was humming more than the worker beside him. In any other situation Hanzo would be terrified into silence, but at this time of day he only managed to be sheepish.

"Are you humming a Disney song?"

Hanzo chuckled, tapping a few more numbers in. "And what if I was?"

The cowboy hummed, considering the idea for a moment. "Dunno. It's pretty though."

"Only the best."

The audio crinkled as Jesse shuffled around the phone. "Aw, for lil ol' me? How sweet, sugarplum."

Hanzo huffed. "Never call me that again." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nightmare summary: Deadlock gets Jesse drunk so they can jump on him, and slam him into a wall to stun him. Scene cuts to the aftermath, with Pistol tending to him.  
> Also let's be honest, Jack would name his kid fucking Holand and you know it  
> Fucking indiana white boy  
> I was born there, and I must say it's pretty much exactly how you'd expect it  
> This shit is getting darker I'm sorry it took an unexpected turn??? Oof gotta turn the rating up sorry  
> Shout out to Hailey, a lot of the nightmare ideas she gave me because she's fucking amzing  
> I mean most of the Hanzo and Jesse ones are mine but for all the other characters? That's her  
> -hit me up on Instagram (I post shit the most often compared to other social media, mg story is mainly my cats, I keep up with dms there, and sometimes I stream me screeching at overwatch) my @ is fabulously_gay_doritos and my tumblr is @ fabulouslygaydoritos  
> Get ready- in the next chapter, shit goes down in shimada town


	7. This Isn't the Average Sickfic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You always were like Mother, weren't you?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I promised, shit goes down  
> I've written a oneshot about Jesse's Deadeye, check it out [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14330955)  
> Theme- Make The Grade by Jack Conte

"I've never really told anyone truth about what happened to my arm, or why I was found at the bottom of Deadlock's mine. Not even the police. I told them I was hiking and I fell, but I uh... I wasn't." He shrugged, rubbing his face nervously. "See, it takes a bit of back story to explain." The way everyone stared at him was a little unnerving.

So maybe telling everyone in the support group EVERYTHING wasn't the best idea. I mean, they were happy he opened up, but the longer he talked the less they understood, so eventually he stopped talking. It wasn't nearly as relieving as it was when he opened up to Hanzo, who seemed to understand every word he said. It didn't matter, Zenyatta was proud and the topic was soon forgotten under Hana's good first day stories and puns Genji couldn't help but crack.

He had pretty much forgotten about it by the time Zenyatta tugged him to the side as everyone else was leaving.

"You seem to dislike you prosthetic."

Jesse hummed and smiled slightly. "Too real for me, creeps me out a little."

"Have you ever considered getting a different prosthetic? Maybe one that is a bit more... Wild. Something similar to your personality. It may help with adapting to it."

"Huh." Fiddling with the locks that kept his prosthetic connected to his stump, Jesse regarded Zenyatta with a curious glance. "Didn't know I could."

The new design showed to him was everything he wanted it to be.

The picture was sent to Genji by Sombra at 3 am.

No use wondering why Sombra was out at 3 am- she would never answer him. Besides, the image took his immediate attention, practically body slamming his heart to the floor.

It was of Hanzo, huddled on the ground inside a small clearing of the park. The remains of his belongings surrounded him, the bare minimum ready to be used while the rest was messily thrown into a backpack. Of course Hanzo would do something like this, the prideful fuck-

Genji didn't notice he was making a face until Jesse tapped him with his flesh arm, the new prosthetic glimmering in the light. When had Genji moved to the living room couch? "You good?"

Shuffling to his feet, Genji paced the perimeter of the living room, heart racing. "I can't believe he would do something like this! That honor-obsessed jackass-" tears built up in his eyelids. "Oh, fuck! I should've known, I could've prevented this, if only I had followed him or kept a better eye on him, stupid Hanzo!" His body trembled but still jerked away when Jesse attempted to grab his shoulder, his hands furiously wiping away stubborn tears.

"What happened, Genji?! What'd Hanzo do?" Jesse gently pulled him into a hug and sighed softly as Genji sagged against him.

"He lied to me." His voice died down to a whimper. "He said he- he said he had a place to stay. He lied to me. We were supposed to look out for each other, and he ruined it. He _l_ _ied_." 

Confused, Jesse pulled back slightly, scanning Genji's hurt expression. "He what?" Instead of answering with words Genji shoved his phone into the cowboy's face. "Oh. _Oh_." Rubbing small circles into Genji's back, Jesse managed to keep his voice at a low whisper. "I... I'm sure he's fine, Genji. Why don't we call him up later and talk to him about-"

"No!" Genji hissed, pushing Jesse away. "No. I don't wanna talk to that bastard just yet."

It was hard to fall asleep again, even though Genji's body was exhausted- but when he finally slipped down into unconsciousness, emotions slammed into him at the speed of a freight train.

_Hanzo rarely cried when they were younger. Always stoic and silent, his older brother usually kept to himself, locking emotions behind years and years of trained blankness. Hanzo used to break the mask every so often, just for Genji- it was always a treat to joke around with his brother, hidden away at their favorite hidden spot in the little caves spread in Hanamura Castle's sharp cliffs. Even rarer were the times Hanzo joined him and Father in the gardens. Genji knew Hanzo didn't like Father much, or Father's boyfriend or the way Father taught things, and it just made Hanzo's presence all the more bright._

_His brother was much closer with Mother. Genji didn't really like Mother that much- she was cruel and stern, a terrifying figure that loomed over everyone with superiority she ruled with an iron fist. Sometimes he saw figures of all kinds led into her room at night, but they never left, and Genji was always too scared to ask._

_None of this could explain the reason why Hanzo cried now, holding Genji close to his chest. Hanzo didn't cry when Father died, nothing could possibly be happening-_  
_The shouts were incomprehensible, in a language Genji never learned. Were they speaking in Korean, simply to shove him out of the conversation? Doesn't matter. The only thing that mattered was Mother's harsh glare, and Hanzo's trembling form as he covered._

_A shimmer caught his eyes- a blade, held in his Mother's hand. The puzzle clicked together too late. Genji was helpless to stop the blade as it crashed down into his brother, slicing him up in ease._

Panic forced Genji awake, gasping for air as his body shuddered repulsively. "Hanzo!" His voice was hoarse from lack of use. Arms wrapped around him and he cried out, jerking away as quick as he could. In his sleepy terror, Genji never noticed the rapid buzz of his phone going off on the bedside table.

 

_Father was settled in his boyfriend's arms when Hanzo arrived._

_It had taken years of pain, desperation, and tears to take his Mother down and rule over the Shimada clan, but it was worth it to see Genji sleeping peacefully in the garden and Father finally happy with his cowboy. The clan was -under Hanzo's guiding hands- slowly tilting towards legal conduct._

_Now, Father had no need to hide his boyfriend from the rest of the world, keeping me and his wife's open relationship under wraps. (It wasn't like Father was the only one who had another interest. Hanzo was not blind to the many different figures that would follow Mother into her room and never leave.) Now, Father could retire and relax while Genji was free to do what he wished and Hanzo dealt with the necessary duties._

_The blissful, free look his brother had while he sleep was almost too good to ruin, but Hanzo had good news. "Genji, wake up. The new arcade has finally opened up!"_

_His brother kept to his feet, as he wasn't really sleeping in the first place. "That's great! Wanna go out now? I'm sure father won't mind?" A smirk blossomed on Genji's cheeks as Father hid his face in his cowboy's chest. Hanzo hadn't minded the public affection like he usually would- cowboy (who's actual name was Andrew, but the Shimada's liked the nickname much better) was like a second father to the two brothers, somewhat filling the void Mother left in them._

_Cowboy had the guts to look sheepish. "Don't be gone too long, the assassins are still roaming around!"_

_"Got it, Cowboy!" Genji chirped happily, tugging Hanzo out of the gardens and towards the castle's large gates. A few cars cruised by as they walked, but Hanzo thought nothing of it. He didn't even notice how one of them turned around and sped up._

_But he noticed the exact expression Genji wore when the car slammed into him at full speed. He had smiled._

Tears had already gathered on Hanzo's cheeks by the time he awoke. Fumbling with his phone, he struggled with the bright glare while he tried to call Genji. Just to hear his voice. To know he's okay, to hear the bright skip that always lingered in his brother, that was all he needed and his nightmare would end, would fade away. Genji would know immediately what was going on and would talk about his day, becoming a warm comfort to pull Hanzo from the flashes of the dream. _He had smiled._

The phone rang, once, twice, too many times, and Hanzo was left stunned when if hit voicemail. Pure panic flooded his veins. Was Genji okay, was he killed, did someone kidnap him, did he-

Hanzo called over and over again, watching in defeat as Genji never answered. Was that not just a dream? Was that a memory, a flash of reality? Genji could be dead. After sending text after text and getting no response, he took a deep breath and called one more time- no answer.

Dropping his phone, Hanzo slowly curled up on the ground and gave up. It didn't matter. He deserved it. He woke up sick, but whatever, it didn't matter- climbing up to his feet, Hanzo headed to work.

 

When Genji awoke, he was thankful it was Saturday. Somehow Reyes was able to calm him down last night- a true relief, considering everything that had happened. He fumbled to grab his phone, fully prepared to watch random shit on YouTube until he has enough energy to face Hanzo, but the last messages his brother sent him caught his eye.

 

HANZO: Genji

HANZO: Please, brother

HANZO: I need to

HANZO: Is everything ok?

HANZO: why aren't you responding g

HANZO: did something happen

HANZO: I need to hear your voice

HANZO: please don't be hurt

HANZO: or kidnapped

HANZO: or

HANZO: or dead

HANZO: please don't be dead

HANZO: Genji

HANZO: fuck

 

Oh. _Oh._

He hurriedly scribbled a note and set it up on the kitchen table as he rushed out the house, pulling Jesse (who had been half-awake on the couch) along with him. "Get in the car."

Jesse obediently climbed into the driver's seat, rubbing his eyes and sparing a glance at Genji. "Everything alright?" His southern drawl was even more slurred than usual.

"I need to talk to Hanzo. By now he should be at a little fast food restaurant, I know the way."

 

Hanzo's mouth was raw, spit tangy from the blood spilled every time he bit at the sides of his lips and cheeks. It left his mouth abused and rough, but it was the only thing he could do to focus his attention away from the nightmare and physical state. He could ignore the stones in his throat, the slowly-rising bile, the way his feet could barely hold the rest of him up. It didn't matter.

Break was a godsend. Hanzo managed to shuffle his way into a cozy, hidden spot he often spent his breaks in. The moment he sat down, coughs wrecked his body and his head swirled, vision going blurry for a second as the illness took over. 

"Hanzo!" His head tilted up and his eyes sent wide, as his brother and Jesse were suddenly in from of him.

Genji was furious. "Drink this!" Shoving an uncapped water bottle to Hanzo's lips, Genji rambled on. "I can't believe you would do something like this! Actually, I can. Were you trying to spend less money or something so you could fund my college tuition or some bullshit? Or, maybe you didn't want a make-believe debt hanging over your head, you honor-obsessed mess-" he paused, gently pressing his palm against Hanzo's forehead. "And you're heating up! You're sick, idiot!"

For once, Jesse was at a loss of how to respond.

Hanzo however had just as many thoughts as usual, and couldn't come up with what to say- "Genji-"

"Don't! No excuses." His brother huffed, voice falling to a gentle hum. "Let me take care of you." Body relaxed, Hanzo closed his eyes and let his brother fuss over him, obediently taking sips from the bottle.

Eventually, Hanzo pushed him away. "I have to get back to work."

Genji's face twisted up in anger. "What?! You're sick! I'm taking you to the Reyes household. It's like a home for me, and it'll be yours soon."

"Genji, I can't- you know I can't do that! Hanzo's anxiety was spiking and he rose onto shaky feet.

Jesse looked a little offended. "Aw, come on now. Nothing wrong with my home, or with you staying-"

"You always were like Mother, weren't you?!" Genji was practically seething.  
The words took Hanzo by surprise, and the only thing he could really do was slip into the facade he had practiced doing for so long. The same facade Mother pulled up as if it was her constant emotion. "I suppose I am, brother."

Hanzo harshly pulled the back door of the restaurant open, stormed inside, and slammed the door shut in their faces.

_Genji loomed above him, bright green wings spread out in an angelic pose. Pale, gentle hands stretched towards Hanzo, and Hanzo tried his best to take them, but chains kept him away. Black, rust-coated chains that linked every single one of his limbs to the ground. Silvery wires glimmered in the light over his shoulders, connecting to his arms and legs. A puppet._

_A single strand that used to hold his lips was broken, allowing him to speak. The one freedom he gained for himself, the one thing that he gained back from Mother._  
_Fearful of Mother noticing, he could only mouth "I'm sorry" before the chains pulled him into the void below._

_The void shifted into the familiar confines of Hanamura Castle. His Father rushed past him, hand entwined with a western-dressed man with sunny-gold hair. They disappeared into their private room. How old was Hanzo then? His body was so much smaller, and the adults so much younger than he remembered._

_Mother passed by, swift footsteps smooth and silent. "Hanzo, training room. Now. You're missing practice, and you know I feel about you being late." He nodded hastily, but lingered for just a moment longer to watch as she slipped into his Father's room. Then the shouting began, and Hanzo finally ran off._

_After that, Hanzo saw his father wandering around the confines of the castle with sunny man following him like a lost puppy. Hanzo found it silly, just as Mother did. "He has gotten too attached to that man, Hanzo." Mother would say as she tightened her bow, carefully instructing Hanzo to do so as well. His tiny fingers struggled to pull the wood, and his Mother made no move to help. "Your father is a weak man, more like a boy. Humor him, but do not take him to heart. He is foolish."_  
_Father may be foolish, but he was in love. That was more than he and Mother ever had._

_Maybe this was why Hanzo found himself wandering into Sunnyside Cowboy's private room a week after Father's death- Cowboy was Father's true love. He deserved life._

_The room was a mess when he entered, and Cowboy was huddled up on the bed. Not one very skilled at comfort, Hanzo found himself at a loss. "Cowboy." Not even a flinch. "Mother plans on killing you soon. I'd recommend you leave, before she can catch you."_

_"Why? Doesn't matter anyway." Miserably, Cowboy flicked his head up to give Hanzo a steady gaze, eyes sad and empty. "The love of my life is gone."_

_"But what about you? Don't you want to live?!" Hanzo sacrificed a lot to give him a warning!_

_Cowboy had the nerve to smile. "I have no idea." He wiped away at the tears coating his cheeks, body sagging. "Besides, I won't leave you two with that demon."_

_Scowling, Hanzo dug his suitcase out of the closet. "You'll be leaving us with her anyway when you die. I'd much rather you survive and come back to see us one day, once Mother is taken care of." He hesitated for a moment. "Besides, he... He would want you to live."_

_"Shit." Gathering a few sets of clothes and a gun, Cowboy chuckled, ruffling Hanzo's hair as he passed. "He would. Your father was a good man, Hanzo. Don't let your Mother tell you anything different."_

_Information clashed in Hanzo's mind, and he didn't know which to trust. "I won't."_  
_If Cowboy knew Hanzo was lying, he didn't comment._

 

Genji had calmed down by the time he and Jesse got home. Kind of.

He wasn't shouting anymore, and when he stormed inside he didn't throw anything around- that was a pretty good sign, right? Reyes was still pretty concerned from his spot at the kitchen table, but Sombra offered a lazy wave from the couch.

"Did something happen?" The question was originally asked of Genji, but as Genji was pretty much ignoring everyone at this point and attack in an orange, Jesse stepped in to fill Sombra and Reyes in.

"He and his brother got into a fight. I dunno what else to say, some of the stuff was pretty private..." Jesse trailed off.

Huffing, Genji shoved the half-eaten orange in the trash. "He's an idiot." He hesitantly settled down at the kitchen table, leg bouncing.

"Is that all?" Sombra couldn't help being curious- always loved drama.

The table shook softly as Genji fidgeted in his seat. "No, of course not. I just... I don't want to talk about it right now. I need some time to think." His chair squeaked as he rose to his feet, stepping back. "Alone."

 

The meeting held later that day was, to say the least, a little awkward. Even Zenyatta was silent- everyone kept glancing at one another and at Genji, expecting someone to pop the question, because Genji wasn't saying anything without initiative.

Jamison eventually got fed up with the silence. "Hey, ninja boy? Where's your brother?"

"I have no idea." Genji growled, glaring at the ground. His foot tapped nervously to an unknown beat as he brooded.

"Did something happen?" Voice soft and level, Zenyatta moved to stand next to Genji, resting a hand on the tense boy's shoulder. "Would you like some tea?"

Genji visibly softened. "Yes please, thank you." Sighing softly, he let his body relax as Zenyatta wandered off to get some tea ready. "It's just... A really long story."  
"We have time!" Hana chimed. "Besides, I'd love to hear more about Hanzo."  
"Yeah, to be fair, we don't know much about the guy." Lena commented as Zenyatta arrived with the tea.

Happily taking a cup for himself, Genji settled down for a long ride. "Well, Hanzo and I have always had family issues. Our mother was controlling- Father managed to get me out of her line of sights for a long time, and because of it I was able to grow into my own person. Hanzo... He wasn't as lucky. Mother was obsessed with Honor, and so Hanzo inherited the quality." His face fell, sipping from the cup to hide the wobble of his lips.

"Still, we were happy. Then Father died, and, well... One day I just woke up in a hotel room hours away from home. A note on my bedstand said home wasn't safe anymore, and that I had to run, so I left for America. I knew Hanzo was the one who brought me to the hotel, who else would? I never knew why. I mean, I was thankful to be out of that place- Mother was terrifying!"

He huffed, glaring at his empty cup. "I'm getting off topic. Anyway, Hanzo and I met again nearby a while back, and we haven't separated since. I thought he had finally gotten over the honor bullshit, but..."

Zenyatta filled Genji's cup again, and smiles reassuringly.

Taking a deep breath, Genji continued. "We didn't really have enough money to stay anywhere, so we stayed at a shelter. But the shelter needed more room for an elderly couple, so we left, and then the Reyes family took me in but Hanzo said he already had a place where he could stay and I trusted him but he lied and now he's sick-"

"Genji." Jesse's voice startled him. "You're rambling."

"Oh. Oops." Genji chuckled nervously, running a hand through his hair. "Sorry."

The dots connected in everyone's minds. "So you're saying Hanzo's been homeless this whole time?!" Hana shrieked, cheeks flushing in anger. "Damn..."

"Call him." It was Amélie who spoke up this time. "We'll talk sense into him."

Glancing at Zenyatta for approval, Genji smiled happily and nodded, rummaging in his bag for his phone. "I- thank you. I'll put it on speaker phone. Maybe we'll be able to convince him to finally open up or something. Maybe even rest a little." His radiant face grew confused moments later as he checked his notifications. "Wait. I have a missed call from the hospital."

"Call back?" Lúcio hummed, rolling over to Genji. "It might be important."

Genji called, instantly setting it onto speaker phone.

An bored voice answered the phone two rings in. "Hello, this is Lady of Hope hospital. May I have you name and reason for calling, please?"

"Genji Shimada. You called me earlier?"

"Genji Shimada..." Clicking noises echoed through the speakers. "Ah! Yes, we did. Your older brother was recently brought to the hospital by a coworker, he fainted near the stoves and nearly burned his entire hand. Hanzo is currently in the emergency room getting checked on- we're not sure what kind of illness he contracted, but he's in bad condition."

Dropping the phone, Genji immediately rushed out of the room and into the nearest car.

As expected, Hanzo was already gone by the time they arrived at the hospital.

Mark it pure instinct if you want, but Genji knew he would run. He ignored Jesse, who was arguing with a nearby nurse, and he ignored the others who crowded around him. Rage burned inside him, lighting up his insides. His fingers went numb. Thin fingertips wrapped around the nearest item- a pencil holder from the front clerk's desk. He launched it at a nearby wall, watched it as it shattered, bits and pieces raining onto the floor while other patrons jerked in shock. The clerk rose up in alarm and security guards reached into their pockets-

But there was no need. The rage left as quickly as it came, leaving Genji's body emptier than it had ever been before. This was worse than the hotel. Back at the hotel, he had been confused, but now...

Genji sank to his knees, tears bubbling in his eyelids. "He was all I had left."

Hanzo was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's be honest. Genji wouldnt be "OoO, Hanzo why would u, T.T I cannot believe,,,," he would cry of course, but he would be batshit ANGRY. because honestly, if my brother told me he was fine and then I found out he was homeless and sick, I would be pissed.  
> Genji inherited his brightness from his father, and looks from his mother. Hanzo inherited his looks and honor-focused attitude from his mother, and his father's preference for cowboys. Life works in mysterious ways.  
> Some amazing people (manolo and flyingvalentine to be specific) on discord came up with the idea of Sojiro having a cowboy boyfriend and told me I could use it!!! Thank u guys!!! I had so much fun writing it honestly  
> So meet Sunnyside Cowboy Andrew, who's gay and in love and may end up coming back to adopt the Shimadas Idk I haven't really thought about it  
> And uh  
> Hanzo is an idiot™


	8. Raw Emotion (End Of Arc 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mother sat on the highest podium, colored in a mix of the three colors with strands of gold mixed in.  
> "You are a coward. Go ahead and ignore what I say- you follow all other orders without argument, so there's no real reason for me to fight this preposterous idea you have stuck in your head."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I made an edit on Chapter 5 that vastly changes some of Jesse's back story. I read over it and it turns out that I portrayed Pistol in a really weird way! She was supposed to be a sassy lesbian aunt, but... Things happened. Its changed now, into something much better! I'm still working on the best way to fix that scene though, so don't be surprised if I come in with another edit.  
> Theme for the chapter: Anxiety Song by Human Petting Zoo (I mean it was gonna appear eventually)
> 
> Well, this is the end of Arc 1! What a ride it was. I hope you enjoy!

No matter what he did, it seemed to him that Mother watched his every move.

It could be paranoia- after all, there was no possible way she was actually watching Hanzo as he stumbled to his car, head spinning. Still, he felt her eyes on him as he loaded the trunk of his car. He stashed everything he was able to grab from the makeshift campsite. Not bothering to make another trip to grab anything he left behind, he climbed into the drivers seat and drove towards his single stop before he left for good. Mother seemed to judge his every move even though she was still in Japan, analyzing his intentions and interpreting them in the way she wants them to be.

Strangely, he felt the eyes of Father on him as well. That would make more sense- Father was dead after all, and not completely beyond judging his eldest child from the grave.

He ignored them. Their opinions had no substance, no matter how much his gut was twisting.

Hanzo had never seen the Reyes house personally as it had been dark when he first dropped off Genji, so finally seeing it for the first (and last) time seemed a little... Unreal. It made his heart clench, his soul begging him to stay and wait for Genji to arrive, but his head refused. So he continued on.

The porch creaked under his weight. And he checked through the windows for people- no one was home. Good. He set down a thick envelope onto the bench before rushing back to his car, body trembling from the illness and anxiety combined. Everything was screaming at him. It was too loud, too loud, breathing was more and more difficult as he continued, but he trudged on.

He brought nothing but trouble, and Genji shouldn't have to suffer through it any longer.

 

_Cream walls, lined with priceless heirlooms and decorations of dragons, ornately crafted by masters of their particular trade. High, regal podiums of differing heights stood at the front of the massive room, colored gold, green, and blue based on the persons sitting upon them. Matching lace curtains of western influence draped behind the podiums. Gold chains surrounded Hanzo's spot on the ground of the chamber, knelt on his calves as per usual. Mother sat on the highest podium, colored in a mix of the three colors with strands of gold mixed in: to her left were the Dragon of the South Wind's elders, dressed in electric blue silks. To her right, the Dragon of the North Wind's elders, neon greens clashing against the warm gold and hurting his eyes._

_Mother did that on purpose- just another way to make Hanzo hate the color, and eventually hate his brother, who wore it as his favorite color. Hanzo was not that stupid, and never fell for the lower rings of trickery, but he ignored them, his first mistake in a multitude of faults._

_Genji called it the "Judgment Room". He wasn't wrong of course, but that wasn't the whole truth. The chamber gave out more than mere "Judgment", Genji just never experienced anything else._

_Hanzo did._

_"I saw you with your brother again, playing with wooden swords like **children**." Her voice was honeyed and smooth, worming its way into Hanzo's head._

_He was only 13. "Yes, mother." Nothing more was said, and it angered her._

_Rage bubbled in her irises, the only emotion she ever expressed, and her hands tightened as she resisted the urge to move. "What have I told you about your brother?" He refused to answer, and an ugly scowl stretched her perfect skin. "Answer me, yowamushi."_

_"You tell me to stay distant from them."_

_"And why have you been disobedient?" Sharpened nails clinked against the podium as she tapped them, waiting for the answer she expected._

_Hanzo had no choice but to say it. "I love them, Mother. They are my family. I refuse to abandon them, and no order you give me will force me away."_

_She hissed, eyes burning through his skull. "You are truly a fool. I am family too, even though you refuse to acknowledge it." The elders turned slightly to glance at her worriedly as her temper flared. "I have told you so many times, son, exactly what your Father is. He is a clueless man who uses his children to keep the wrath of his wife away, and I cannot stand to see you near him any longer!"_

_"I understand and agree with your ideals of father, but I still love Genji dearly. As long as Genji stays by Father's side, you will find me with them." He winced as her rage finally spilled in the form of a sake gourd thrown right at his head, colliding into him with a dull thud as the wood met his forehead._

_"Warugaki! How dare you speak to me in a such a way?! My family is full of stupidity..." She grumbled as the elders nodded faintly, either in agreement or fear of her wrath. "You father is uselessness incarnate, your brother is a brat, and you..." Chuckling, she slowly stepped down from the podium to stand directly in front of Hanzo, nimble fingers gripping his chin._

_"You are a coward. Go ahead and ignore what I say- you follow all other orders without argument, so there's no real reason for me to fight this preposterous idea you have stuck in your head." She passed him on her way towards the exit, hips swaying as she led along a servant towards her bedroom. "However, if you fight any of my other orders, no matter how dirty or disgusting, you will face the consequences. Understood?"_

_Mouth stiff, he nodded before speaking. "Understood, Mother."_

_"Good." She purred, hand gripping the servant's shoulder in a way that had to be painful. "Your elders have your next task already planned- an elimination of a recently captured rival, who decided it would be wise to wander into our territory." The servant followed Mother obediently as she left, trembling as they knew their fate._

_The servant was never seen again, but Hanzo knew what happened. He could connect the dots._

 

After Reyes filed the report, everyone gave Genji a hug and headed to their respective homes. Genji couldn't stop shaking. Luckily, the Reyes family had experienced things like this before when Jesse was first taken in- Jesse set his serape around Genji's shoulders as they climbed into the car, and Sombra held his hand the whole ride home. Gabe even stopped at a local cafe and grabbed Genji his favorite tea to sip as he calmed down,

There was something on the porch when they arrived.

It was an envelope, addressed to Genji, said bog tore it open the minute he reached it, ignoring the cries of the others around him. Money practically burst from the opening but Genji shoved if aside, instead pulling out a folded piece of paper as if it was his lifeline.

"Lets take care of this inside," Gabe suggested, leading Genji into the house and onto the couch, making sure he was comfortably nestled in between Sombra and Jesse before handing him the note back.

Genji took a deep breath and began to read aloud.

 

I believe introductions are unnecessary. You know exactly who this is from.

Mr. Reyes, thank you for taking care of Genji. The money enclosed originally was intended to pay off the debt of taking him in, but I can see now that no amount of money could pay that sort of thing away. I can only hope you find his presence a gift enough, as I always had. Because of this, please make sure Genji gets the money to use for whatever he wishes, or to pay off the last of the assassins Mother sent to eliminate the physical embodiments of her "failures".

Jesse... You've been a good friend to me. You bared your heart, and I'm sorry I never returned the gesture. I was too afraid, and I still am- it's why I ran, after all. I fear the judgment given when I speak, so I stopped talking. I fear the judgment given when I felt, so I stopped showing my feelings.

Genji had hoped the group would help, but my inability to function made me appear as a normal human being, and suddenly I fear the judgment given when I don't appear as a neurotypical being, so I forced myself to become one. It became too much. They saw me as healthy, and I wasn't, and I don't believe I ever truly will be. This had always been one of the worst parts of my illness- how I appear normal and functional. Harder to get help that way.

I hope that satisfies any curiosity towards my nonexistent wellbeing.

Sparrow.

 

Genji choked up at the use of his old nickname.

 

I have done you so much wrong, none of which you deserved. I'm sorry for everything I've done. For listening to mother, for leaving you alone in your times of need, for doubting father when he only meant well.

I abandoned you before, and now- I'm doing it again, aren't I? Like a coward. I regarded you as inferior during our childhood, but look at us now. Who's the inferior one here? Surely not you. Father was smart- he knew of your worth, soon before Mother did. Before I did.

There's so much I could've done, but was too scared to. I never had to listen to Mother. I could've saved Father, but Mother and I didn't care. I could've spared you so much loss from staying apart or staying close, but I was selfish. My obsession with honor dragged you down with me, and for a while I refused to let go. Mother clouded my judgment and I never fought back, I simply submitted, and I'm sorry.

I never hated you, I admired you. You truly were a Sparrow, a boy with wings, someone so independent locked in our twisted, manipulative household. You never listened to anyone, and it saved you. You were peppy and lighthearted, and back then I saw it all as weaknesses, when these were the strengths keeping you away from the puppet strings. I never had that ability. I still don't believe all of Mother's strings have been completely cut from my shoulders, and that is why I must go.

And of course: you were always the better Shimada.

 

The letter wobbled in Genji's hands as fat, ugly tears spilled from his eyes. Harsh sobs wracked his smaller body, shaking the two teens next to him. Jesse held him close. Hanzo should be the one comforting him. Hanzo should be here.

 

_A small green noodle-like creature spun around Genji's arms as he awoke in the Dreamscape._

_For the Shimada clan, the Dreamscape has always been a familiar place: a perfect field with bright green grass and a single tree in the center, known as the connection realm between the spirits and the living. This was where all Shimada's communed with their dragons, taking comfort in their supernatural presence whilst dreaming when needed. Genji did it as often as his dragon was able to visit._

_Soba purred by his ear as she curled up close to him. Submitting to her wants, Genji gently petted her as he willed his nerves to calm down- visiting Soba helped him during times like these and today was no exception. Somehow, petting the little creature gave him a soft sense of peace._

_To his surprise, Soba flew off for a moment, returning with two familiar blue dragons._

_"Udon, Ramen? What are you two doing here?" He laughed as they nudged at his feet, towards the grand tree in the center of the field. "You want me to go there?"_

_He got no response, but Soba joined their nudges so he chuckled and followed. It wasn't like it was completely uncommon for his brother's dragons to visit Genji in the Dreamscape- Hanzo rarely visited them and they often got lonely, waiting for the master who never came. Genji made a mental note to make sure Hanzo visited them next time he slept._

_At this point the noodle dragons practically surrounded him in warmth. Genji crept up the tree and peered around it, greeted with a familiar face sleeping on the other side. Hanzo, even in rest, looked like a mess: dark circles lining teary eyes, while his body trembled against the rough wood. The hazy figures of Mother and Father loomed over Hanzo like death itself. Everything became painfully obvious to Genji, realization of the extent of Hanzo's problems crashing into him like a truck. This wasn't just about Genji. This wasn't just about honor. Hanzo's inner demons were much worse than that._

_Mother hadn't let go of Hanzo yet, and it didn't look like she planned to._  
_Before he could wake Hanzo up and pull him completely into the Dreamscape, a soft ringing sound filled his ears and once he blinked, his eyes opened to the ceiling of his room._

 

 **SOMBRA** : so uh

 **SOMBRA** : hanzo, if ur reading this

 **SOMBRA** : fuck u

 **AMÉLIE** : what did he do this time?

 **SOMBRA** : besides leaving

 **SOMBRA** : which you guys were there for

 

Jesse worriedly pulled out his buzzing phone as Reyes left to talk to the police about the situation.

 

 **JESSE** : he left a note.

 **SOMBRA** : a fucking note.

 **SOMBRA** : because he's too much of a coward to say this bullshit to our faces!!!

 **JESSE** : hey now

 **LENA** : don't you dare defend him.

 **FAREEHA** : someone has to.

 **FAREEHA** : look.

 **FAREEHA** : he's probably been through some big stuff

 **LENA** : and so have we!

 **JAMISON** : but we didn't leave. Why should he be allowed to?

 **HANA** : He's a dick.

 **HANA** : admit it.

 **FAREEHA** : Hana, please.

 **HANA** : Look, I'm pissed! How could he just leave like that?!

 

At the sight of Jesse's frown, Genji pulled his phone out of his pocket and checked the group chat.

 

 **GENGAY** : stop.

 **HANA** : What?!

 **HANA** : you should be mad too!!

 **LÚCIO** : Calm down, Hana. We haven't seen all the sides to the story.

 **HANA** : yes we have!!

 **LÚCIO** : We've never heard anything from Hanzo. Not even a tidbit of information.

 **GENGAY** : Exactly. If he had it his way, it would've stayed that way, but I refuse to let that happen.

 **GENGAY** : He's my brother, and I love him. I know why he ran, and his reasons make sense, fuck, if I was as messed up as he was at the moment, I would have ran too.

 **JAMISON** : Messed up???

 **JAMISON** : I'm the messed up one.

 **JESSE** : guys, please.

 **JESSE** : judging from what he wrote in the note...

 **JESSE** : Everything he's ever said, ever did, has always been

 **GENGAY** : an act. Meant to protect him from judgment, yeah, I know. An act that, despite all my words against it, you all fell for.

 **LENA** : to be fair

 **LENA** : it was pretty bloody convincing

 **GENGAY** : He learned it from the best.

 **AMÉLIE** : Who, if I may ask?

 **GENGAY** : Mother.

 **GENGAY** : he learned it from our mother.

 

**-Private Messages between GENGAY and SOMBRA-**

**GENGAY** : he's reading the chat

 **GENGAY** : is that enough for you to track his phone?

 **SOMBRA** : yep!

 **SOMBRA** : are you sure you should be the one to talk him into coming back?

 **GENGAY** : no. I shouldn't go, he'll just brush me off. He needs someone brash, someone emotional- the exact opposite of Mother.

 **SOMBRA** : ...

 **GENGAY** : Hana.

 **SOMBRA** : good choice.

**-End of Private Messages-**

 

Hana was still fuming as they drove down the highway, Sombra holding her phone up in between Jack and Hana from the safety of the back whole Jesse sat silently beside her. Jack's visors kept him in the road and aware of other cars, but he couldn't (and we never) give him vision of anything else around him, so Sombra made sure to read the turns aloud.

"Calm down, Hana. You need to be level headed when you speak to him." Jack soothed, carefully searching the car for her hand.

Sombra chuckled. "Her fiery attitude is the reason why she's the one talking sense into him, sir."

"Still." His calloused fingers rubbed over Hana's smooth knuckles. "A calm mind will help you get your point across."

"We're here!" Sombra announced, and Jack parked the truck on the side of the highway. A few yards ahead of them, a discrete car had parked closer to the woods than the road. Only Hana left their truck to slide right into the small car's passenger seat.

The sight of Hanzo curled up in the driver's seat made some of Hana's anger dissipate, but not all of if was lost. His eyes opened blearily as she nudged him, as if he had suspected this would happen.

"Hana-"

"No." She interrupted, arms crossing. "It's my turn to talk." Fiddling with the glove compartment, she gathered the last of her thoughts. "I read the letter, and you said you were causing him trouble or something, and you were right." She laughed as he blushed, either st the idea of his thoughts being read by unintended bystanders or of being called out. "Running away won't keep Genji from trouble. You know what will?"

He frowned, scanning her. "What?"

"Getting better." She smirked as he sat up.

Flustered and a bit angered, Hanzo bit back a growl. "But I've already tried that!"

"But did you really?" She challenged, hackles rising. "You may have gotten a therapist, gotten help! But did you try to improve? Healing can be helped by others, we know that. But if YOU don't try, you won't improve. All this time you've been subconsciously expecting other factors to get rid of your emotional problems.

Her voice softened slightly. "You thought a counselor could take away the thoughts, you thought running away would harden your heart, but it didn't and _you couldn't figure out why._ That's what happened, isn't it? That's why you stopped on the side of the road."

Hanzo fought of a whimper, resisting the urge to bend away and make himself look small. "How did you-"

"Because I did the same thing!" After a deep breath, she elaborated. "Before I transitioned I was in a rough place, and like you, I thought others could fix my problems. But they can't. Only you can fix stuff like this."

Burying his face into his hands, Hanzo his years that had begun to build up again. "You're right, I just..." His voice broke. "I can't go back. I can't face him again, not after that."

Surprising herself, Hana leaned over and wrapped her arms around him. "It's alright, he's not mad, just... He misses you. He hasn't seen you in a while, because of how much you've been working."

"He should hate me." He murmured over her shoulder, melting into the physical contact.

Hana huffed and lightly slapped his arm. "Don't say that! You made some mistakes, but you're only human! It was terrible of us to expect anything more."  
Hanzo sighed and slowly uncovered his face, hugging Hana back. "Alright. I'll head back, but.."

"You don't wanna be alone." She smiled softly. "Yeah, I get that. Leave the car, we'll have it towed back into town later or something? Come home with us."

Nodding blindly before his brain could object, Hanzo numbly followed Hana out of the car. To be completely honest, the whole ordeal had sucked his energy away, and it was probably the only reason why he agreed. He climbed into the back seat of Jack's truck, surprised to find himself pulled into Jesse's arms.

"It's ok, I gotcha." Tears spilled down Hanzo's cheeks as he shuddered, hiding his face in Jesse's chest as Jack started the truck back up. Something warm and soft wrapped around him, surrounding Hanzo in warmth and lulling him to sleep.

 

"I don't- I don't think I can do this," Hanzo mumbled, twisting himself away from Jesse's grip. Jack had parked his truck in front of the Reyes house, and now the three other teens had the difficult task of getting Hanzo to enter.

Hanzo's stomach rolled at the thought, bile threatening to rise out.

A gentle hand patted his back. "Of course you can!" Sombra have him a supportive smile as she nudged him onto the porch, while Jesse talked to Jack and Hana. Hanzo could faintly hear Jesse thank them for the ride and assure them everything would be handled, but his brain couldn't process it. 

The knots in Hanzo's stomach only grew tighter as they drove away. Outer body practically numb, Hanzo simply followed the hands that led him closer to his fears, hiding behind his physical mold to escape to his thoughts. There, no one could see the beginnings of the panic, perspective racing into hyperdrive. He barely managed to control his breathing to a normal rate. Full, psychedelic shudders washed over his soul as the panic stretched throughout his entire body. His body tensed and his thoat seized upon itself. Almost completely out of it, the only thing that brought him back go reality was the soft creak of the door opening up. 

On the other side of the door, Genji stood, face completely open while his raw emotion lay exposed. The older Shimada couldn't read the mess of feelings and it made his anxiety spike further.

"Anija."

Hanzo found his entire outer shell shattered in a split moment, face crumpling as he rushed to pull his brother into an embrace. Tears dripped from his closed eyelids like waterfalls as he sobbed behind his own raven hair. Clumsy apologies spilled from his lips as he trembled, body giving out moments later.

Genji easily tugged him down the dark hallway. After passing a few rooms, Genji stopped in front of his own and pulled Hanzo inside, resting his brother on the bed before closing the door to give them more privacy.

"So." Genji mumbled, simply to bring Hanzo back to reality. It worked- Hanzo's trembling started up again when he entered. "Talk to me, brother."

Taking a deep breath, Hanzo gently took Genji's hand in his own and began. "I... I'm so sorry, Genji. I hurt you. Again." He bit at the dead skin on his lips. "I'm just..." 

"You're haunted by Mother." Nervously, Genji's leg began to bounce. "I saw it in the Dreamscape: it was like she and Father were haunting you."

Hanzo nodded along. "Yes," he whispered, "I believe I am."

Tugging him closer, Genji offered him a soft smile. "Well, guess we'll just have to scare her off. Get some sleep for now. We'll talk about that part later."

"What about the other parts?"

Genji hummed. "As in, the honor-obsession, the anxiety, the urge to flee at every inconvenience, the drive to push on over your limits? Those are things I've always known about, ever since we were little. I'd be kinda mean of me to force you to talk about stuff I already understood. The only thing that took me by surprise was the ghost haunting thing."

"Oh." Hanzo slowly laid down on the bed, pulling the sheets up. "Are you ok?"

"I'm not the one that should be asked. You're the one going through all this. Are you ok?"

Hanzo chuckled into the soft bedsheets, feeling so many different emotions while his body settled on concentrating on the confusion and content. "No."

"Well." Curling up beside him, Genji made sure to turn off the lights. "At least you're being honest."

 

The brothers decided the best way to face the others was to not directly face them at all- the morning after Hanzo's run away trial, Hanzo was bundled up on Genji's bed, full of cold medication and ibuprofen, phone ready in his hands with the group chat already pulled up. Genji was sitting up beside him, casually leaning against the headboards with his phone held in one hand.

 

 **HANZO** : I owe you all an apology. I've made many mistakes recently.

 **HANA** : hell yeah you did!!!

 **LENA** : just get over here and you can explain everythinb over tea and shit

 **HANZO** : Ah. Well, I was actually

 **HANZO** : Planning on explaining everything here.

 **HANZO** : It's easier for me this way to get everything that you need to hear out.

 **AMÉLIE** : What do you mean by that?

 **HANZO** : Well

 **GENGAY** : fucking

 **GENGAY** : he has anxiety, that's why

 

Genji shot him finger guns. 

 

 **HANZO** : Yes. I'll explain it better, I promise. And I've already apologized to Genji in person of course

 **SOMBRA** : enough stalling. Explanation, now.

 **SOMBRA** : A full one.

 **HANZO** : I'm sorry.

 **HANZO** : I'll just-

 **HANZO** : Anyway.

 **HANZO** : Here.

 **HANZO** : I was diagnosed with Severe Anxiety Disorder when I was a young teen, although I showed symptoms of it fairly early in life.

 **HANZO** : It's why I'd rather type everything instead of say it face to face. This way I don't have to deal with eye contact.

 **LÚCIO** : aw man eye contact sucks

 **JAMISON** : agreed

 **HANZO** : Anyway.

 **HANZO** : The anxiety didn't cope well at all with our family's lifestyle...

 **LÚCIO** : family lifestyle? I mean, Genji explained it a little, but what the fuck is going on with your family?

 **HANZO** : Well- before I explain everything, please note that Genji and I have completely cut our ties with them.

 

Genji rolled over to face Hanzo, who was staring at the small phone in his hands with a blank look. "They've never done anything that-"

"Genji, I don't know if you've noticed, but the Shimada Clan has never been the straightest in accordance to the law." Hanzo interrupted, eyes narrowing as he typed something out and erased it, over and over.

"I know that, and I know that you and Father purposely kept me out of the loop but..." He hesitated as Hanzo's expression grew guilty. "What exactly was our family?"

 

 **Jesse** : are you saying what I think ur saying

 **HANZO** : the Shimada Clan is one of the most evolved Yakuza clan in Japan. Genji and I were the heirs, before we left.

 

A pillow slammed on Hanzo's face was Genji's physical response. "What?! You've got to be kidding me!" Was Genji's auditory response, sound similar to that of a dying squirrel. 

"I'm being completely truthful." His brother's face went blank as his emotions retreated.

 

 **FAREEHA** : W H. A T

 **Jesse** : Jesus Christ

 **Jesse** : is that what the tattoo is for?

 **HANZO** : Yes. Continuing?

 **LÚCIO** : uh

 **LÚCIO** : go ahead

 **HANZO** : Thank you.

 **HANZO** : I was supposed to inherit it all, so I was put through the necessary training and led around by Mother. Genji ended up with Father.

 **GENGAY** : Father was a good man.

 **HANZO** : Yes. Sojiro Shimada was quite... Soft. Mother chose him for that reason, to be a figurehead while she took care of everything in the shadows. Father became an excellent role model for Genji.

 **GENGAY** : Back then you didn't think that.

 **HANZO** : To be fair, back then I was an idiot.

 **GENGAY** : osjdkdks wow

 **HANA** : did u just

 **HANA** : roast urself

 

Genji snickered. "Hanzo, promise that you'll keep the self-depreciating jokes to a minimum? I mean, I love them, but I love you more. Roast the people we walk past- I loved that."

"I haven't done that in years." A fond look crossed over the otherwise black canvas.

"Which is why you need to do it now."

 

 **HANZO** : I'm almost finished.

 **HANZO** : I knew Genji would be thrown out, so I stole him from his room and dropped him off in a faraway hotel with a note.

 **HANZO** : I've still

 **HANZO** : never really forgiven myself for doing that.

 **GENGAY** : I have

 **GENGAY** : just saying

 **JAMISON** : so, you have family problems

 **JAMISON** : gotcha

 **JAMISON** : but why did you zip outta here?

 **HANZO** : Well.

 **HANZO** : I kept having this thought that

 **HANZO** : things would turn out better for you guys, and for Genji

 **HANZO** : if I was gone.

 **HANZO** : And I've never been very good at ignoring my thoughts. So the thought festered until I eventually agreed with it and carried it out.

 **FAREEHA** : Alright. I don't think you need to explain yourself further: what's important is that you came back. I forgive you, and I'm sure everyone else does

 **HANA** : I'm still debating it

 **GENGAY** : hANA

 **HANA** : ok ok lol I was just joking

 **HANZO** : Thank you.

 **LENA** : <3

 **GENGAY** : gay

 **LENA** : I'm lebin

 **LENA** : lesiaban

 **LENA** : lesiabsn

 **LENA** : LLessbi

 **GENGAY** : uh

 **SOMBRA** : is your phone glitching or something?

 **LENA** : hhelop

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bonus:  
> LENA: lebibin  
> LENA: Lebanon  
> GENGAY: I thought u were american  
> HANA: oh my god  
> LENA: I'm nOT  
> Also, anything that happened before leaving Deadlock in the one shot "Pistol" is canonical stuff that happened in this fic. I'm debating combining them into a series or collection, but I'm still thinking about it. I just don't want to add it to this fic cause if seems repetitive. 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! <3

**Author's Note:**

> I try to update weekly, once each weekend. Thank you for reading! <3


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